Steve Holmes and Trina Michaels on sexandsubmission.com
Has Gay lost its Magic Charm? When gay boys don’t feel that they have to be so gay and straight guys don’t have to worry about being perceived of as gay, is there less difference between them?
Susannah Breslin writes about Ira Isaacs, a pornographer who was indicted by the feds for obscenity. He is using the 2 Girls 1 Cup defense. He claims that his scatalogical movies are not about hardcore sex, but rather about shocking people.
Kink.com covered the Leather Leadership Conference in San Francisco.
And another thing… I learned recently is that it’s not a good idea to wear a petticoat when using a singletail. It keeps getting caught.
Tags: Links and Stuff
Adrianna Nicole and Annie Cruz on thetrainingofo.com
Thursday, April 17Staten Island Kink Munch
Renegades Dungeon Party
Friday, April 18
LSM: Flames Of Desire Tantric Fireplay w/ Barbara Carrellas
DSF: “Erotic & Sensual Fireplay” w/ PyroSadist
Apple Munch
SWITCH women/trans/genderqueer bdsm party at PADDLES
Saturday, April 19
Brooklyn Leather Munch
TES Spanking Group: “Pervertibles for Spanking and Beyond” with Liz & kitty
TES Novice Excursion hosted by Lady D & Bo
TES: “Circus, Pimps, & Whores Party” hosted by Jeff
Spam party
Sunday, April 20
Monday, April 21
CV Meeting: “Pushing the Limits of Sane in SSC w/ Blaise Part 2”
Tuesday, April 22
TES: “Fucking Cock” w/ Lady Velvet & thrash
Wednesday, April 23
TES Bondage Group: “Mummification Bondage” w/ Master Tip
Tags: NYC Weekly Leather Dates
Tags: NYC
This is part of the
Crochet Coral Reef project.
Does anybody need a computer monitor? I am offering a Dell 15” monitor – not the flat kind. It’s yours for the taking – free! Please email me (lolitasir at gmail) or comment here.
Going postal:
this letter carrier in NYC shot and killed two men and then shot himself. Does anyone else find it funny that he was described as a “model employee?”
In anticipation of the release of her new book, Tristan Taormino has created a new website about all kinds of open relationships.
The Raven, a pillar of gay society in New Hope, is for sale.
In the Who knew? Department: I recently learned that “a friendly game of poker” is not the euphemism I thought it was. It was my first poker game – very friendly and I even won $6.50.
Tags: Links and Stuff
Tags: Sugasm
It’s Sunday morning. I’m propped up with pillows in Don Quixote’s bed. A cane is lying next to me. I have extracted it from the case he keeps next to the bed. DQ comes back into the room. Naked, bearing two mugs of coffee, he eyes the cane.
“What’s with the cane?”
“I am going to cane you.”
“You are?”
“Yes! Coffee and caning!”
“Why?”
“Because I want to.”
And that should be a good enough answer. Anyway, I don’t have a better answer. He sits on the bed.
He’s not in a good position for caning. “This is all you offer to me?” He doesn’t move. I sigh and begin to tap his upper arm. That’s all there is.
His upper arm is actually a fun spot to hit because he has an eye tattooed there and I can try to give him a black eye, or at least some blue or green eye shadow. But he does not bruise easily.
We drink our coffee and chat and I continue to tap away on the tattooed eye. And then I see a good angle to connect with a small part of his thigh. We sip some more and continue to chat. I enjoy caning his thigh.
“Lolita, I have a request.”
“Yes?”
“Will you give me a few good hits on my back?”
I oblige and marvel at how the dynamic has shifted ever so slightly. As if it tilted just a degree or two; the scene went from being about me hitting him to being about him being hit by me.
Tags: BDSM · Relationships
Ryan Knox and Lexi Love on meninpain.com
Axe recently pondered how he should answer this very question. In my opinion, the only proper answer would be, “It depends.”
“It depends“ is most likely not the answer that the person who posed that question would want to hear. But really, it is a flawed question to begin with. It’s flawed because, as Joseph Bean once said, “Bottoms lie.” They don’ t actually intentionally lie, but when asked a question like this, the answer is usually a misrepresentation. It is almost always one of two things: either they say they can take a lot more than they actually can, because their fantasies are bigger than their realities; or else they say they can take a lot less than they actually can, because they are scared that they might not be able to take whatever will be dished out.
There are many other factors that contribute to “it depends.”
- Warm up. You might be surprised at how much more someone can take when the sensations are built up slowly.
- Type of pain. Some people prefer “sting” while others prefer “thud” and that certainly impacts how much someone can take. How can you quantify sting versus thud anyway? Perhaps someone is a thud junkie while being a sting wimp!
- Timing. Are the blows coming so fast that they can’t be processed? Or are they timed?
- Bondage or lack thereof. Some people can take more if they are in bondage; others can take less.
- The partner. A lot has to do with who you are playing with. Do they get you in a bottom headspace? Do they turn you on? Can they read your reactions?
- Hormones. Especially during a woman’s cycle.
- Room temperature and other comfort factors make a difference.
So, yeah, it depends. And it’s not a question that I would ask anybody.
Tags: BDSM
Tags: Links and Stuff
I went to see Stalags on Wednesday night at the Film Forum. It is a documentary that explores the phenomenon of the fantasy porn books based on the Holocaust. These were hugely popular in Israel in the early 1960’s, the time of the Eichmann trial . It also tells about how some of that fantasy sexuality has crept into their history and is even part of the curriculum of the schools in Israel. Fantasy has been confused with reality.
I am a child of Holocaust Survivors. As much as my family would not talk about what happened, the Holocaust was in my face and hanging over my head all through my childhood. My parents had friends who had numbers tattooed on their arms. I knew what they were but it was wrong to talk about them. One friend of my mom’s would bring her mother with her. This woman was totally blind because the Nazis had experimented on her eyes.
The family and friends’ histories were always present but we were not to talk about it. We were taught to never forget, but also never to mention it. We were happy to be in America where we could be free and safe, but we tried to blend in. My mother did not want me to wear the Star of David necklace that my boyfriend had given me. “You don’t want everyone knowing that you are Jewish,” she scolded me.
I remember seeing the movie Let My People Go when I was very young. The images still haunt me. Piles of naked dead bodies, malnourished and frightened victims, people standing in front of graves and being shot so that they would fall in. It was horrible, but I was fascinated. I read The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer and any other book I could find about the Holocaust.
Oddly, at some point I found much of this arousing. Horrendous, but I also had sexual fantasies around this. Naturally I felt guilty about this and did not admit it to anyone for a long time. I remember seeing Schindler’s List and I cried in that movie. It was tough to watch, but there was also the part with the SS-Officer and the housekeeper that I found extremely sexy. Yes, it aroused me and played into my own fantasies. Was that fucked up?
It was not until I got into the SM scene that I met people who had similar fantasies as mine. I also began to rationalize why we are affected in this way. I do think that we eroticize our traumas. By eroticizing our traumas in this manner, we are able to deal with them and be emotionally healthy. It is perhaps why the Stalag books were so popular.
It may also be why Max Mosley engaged in his Nazi SM roleplay (where he he played both top and bottom roles). He lived with the history of what his fascist father did during WWII. His SM scene has enraged people and they are asking for his resignation. Why? It is fantasy role play between consenting adults in private. Let’s not confuse fantasy with reality.
Tags: BDSM · Relationships · Reviews & Recommendations
96th Street Traverse, NYC
I feel that I need to expand on what I wrote in
this post.
Ignorantia non excusat: If someone uses my name as a reference, I advise you to ask me about them. Some people bank on you not asking me about them.
People drop names as a reference and think you won’t check on them. For example, back when I was programming a certain event, a potential presenter wrote an introductory letter claiming that he was trained by Midori. I asked Midori about him and she told me that she had no idea who he was and that she did not recognize the name or the email address. She told me that perhaps this person had attended some of her classes at an event but by no means had she trained them. Naturally, I did not pursue this person as a presenter. By his actions he made me less likely to work with him than if he had been honest about his credentials.
Some people use my name as a reference and think that people won’t check with me. For example, a guy said he knew me when he wrote to a woman on a social networking site. The woman has a friend who knows me, and the friend contacted me. I was pretty surprised that this bozo used my name. The last time I saw him he had been rude and disrespectful to me. I could not tell her that he was a nice guy.
Of course, some people might tell you that they are friends of mine, and they really are! Not everybody that uses me as a reference is a douchebag. There are a lot of folks out there that can legitimately claim all sorts of things about me. LOL
So, if people use my name, please don’t be shy about contacting me. I’ll answer you with my truth and experiences. You can always email me at lolitasir (at) gmail (dot) com
Tags: BDSM · Relationships
