Here’s my class list. I can tailor classes for specific events and for schools, groups and organizations. I am also available for private lessons (for couples or small groups). I have even coached an off-Broadway actress to crack a whip for a show! Contact me if you are interested. Or, if you prefer, contact my agents at PhinLi Bookings – they have some other great talent as well!
The ABC’s of BDSM
Our community has a distinct language. Learn the lingo so that you can understand what people are talking about and so that you can communicate and negotiate effectively. Geared to novices, this session is a safe space to ask any question.
Beating Ass
Spanking, paddling, caning, kicking, punching. Some of us get our butts whooped because it feels good. For others it is about punishment. Or it can be a rite of passage. Or maybe fantasy/role play. Lolita will bring lots of implements.
A Biased Guide to Attending BDSM Events
Looking to meet people, learn from experts, shop, play or just relax? No matter what your goals are, preparing beforehand and planning how to tackle the event once you are there will help maximize your experience. Lolita is a veteran traveler to BDSM events and will share lots of basic survival tips as well techniques for treating yourself (or someone else) like royalty.
Breaking Skin: Decorating the Body
There are so many pretty things we can do! Demos will include making designs with needles and staples, attaching beads and other pretty adornments, making string patterns, making corsets, adding candles and more. This type of handiwork will take breaking skin to a whole new level.
Caning – from “Ah!” to “Zowie!!!”
In the Victorian era and the British school system, caning was traditional for severe punishment. This makes for good role play opportunities. Canes are very scary – even just the threat can terrify your bottom. But caning can be sensuous as well and, with finesse, you can have your partners begging for more. Some bottoms can actually come from being caned. We’ll cover selecting a good cane, care and techniques as well as some role play and ritual.
CBT In A Nutshell
Grab him by the balls and he will follow you anywhere. We’ll cover the psychological and physical ins and outs of the family jewels. Learn to safely control your man through the torments of bondage, humiliation, pain and other sensations.
Contracts For Play or Serious Commitment
Like everything we do in SM, there is no one right way to do a contract and maybe a contract isn’t even something right for you! We’ll explore different types of contracts and what might and might not be included in them. Some are serious and some are for fun; some short term and some long term.
The Dynamics of Co-Topping (with Boymeat)
One of the most common pick-up scenes around is co-topping. Two (or more) tops standing around, one (or more) victims prime for the hunt… game on right? Sometimes it can lead to the most exciting and satisfying scenes around… and other times they can be absolute disasters. Lolita and Boymeat have been co-topping together for years, and as switches have bottomed to many a dynamic duo. With years of study and thought, they have learned first hand what works when co-topping… and what doesn’t. It’s not as simple as it looks… and they’ll share with you why and how to pull it off successfully. Then they’ll turn their attention to a lovely victim… er… volunteer, for a co-topping demo of deliciousness.
The Erotic Impact of Spanking
Some of us get spanked just because it feels good. It feels very good! Do it the right way and it can give you and your partner much pleasure. The goal is not to hurt your partner but rather to give him or her an erotic and sensual experience. This class will emphasize psychological aspects as well as techniques.
Erotic Rope Bondage 101: Tying It Together
With just some simple turns of the rope and one simple knot you’ll be able to tie someone’s hands together, tie them to a chair, hog-tie them and more! The possibilities are endless. Bring a 30 foot length of rope, because in this class you will learn safely, in a hands-on manner. Bring a partner or find a match at the class! For real beginners, no experience necessary.
Erotic Rope Bondage 102: Body Harnesses
This class will cover a variety of body harnesses that are pretty as well as practical. These bondage techniques will work for all types of bodies and many different types of scenes. Bring two 30 foot lengths of rope with you, because in this class you will learn safely, in a hands-on manner. Bring a partner or find a match at the class! For real beginners, no experience necessary. The Bondage 101 class is NOT a prerequisite.
Fantasy Role Play
Escape from reality by acting out a scene with a theme or a plot. Whether you are playing with a regular partner, someone new or multiple partners, careful consideration to planning and negotiation can create anticipation and a hot scene for all. Your imagination is the only limit! We’ll also cover hot buttons, political incorrect ideas and aftercare.
Fettered & Shackled: Metal Bondage
Heavy, hard, cold and very real. Whether as a stimulus by itself or to facilitate a larger scene, metal bondage can enforces submission, enhance fantasy role play or make your bottom sexually available …or not. We’ll cover its rich long history, modern and antique styles and how to use this equipment safely and effectively.
Finding Your Way In The Scene
Tips on finding, connecting and attracting partners and how to keep those partners. What’s proper protocol at BDSM events. Increase your chances of being invited back to scene parties. Good etiquette and negotiation will improve your experiences.
Flogging: Different Strokes For Different Folks
Flogging can provide a wide variety of sensations. In addition to covering different types of floggers and what to look for when buying a flogger, you will learn about accuracy, intensity and connecting with your bottom. After the demo, we’ll have some time to try out these skills.
The Greedy Pig Deals with Issues
Make your poly relationships work for everybody involved. Learn strategies to implement relationship agreements and boundaries. We’ll work with issues such as time, space, sex drives and more. Design the relationship structure to fit your needs. Some pitfalls are obvious, and some you would never imagine.
The Greedy Pig Battles the Green-eyed Monster
Jealousy can destroy a poly relationship. Feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment lead to toxic behaviors which in turn make relationships less intimate. We’ll look at strategies to discern what’s real and what’s perceived. And we’ll examine techniques that help combat jealousy with the security of love, structure and trust.
The Greedy Pig Love Threesomes!
Sometimes two partners are better than one. There’s lots of ways to hook up. We’ll talk about different ways to successfully navigate these tricky tricks. If you do it right, it can be lots of fun for everyone. You can have your Kate and Edith too!
Hands On Rope Harnesses
Freestyle rope harnesses are pretty as well as practical. After a demo, we’ll pair up and tie each other up. Bring a 50 foot length of rope.
Hot Stuff: Fire and Wax
Some like it hot! Learn how to warm up your partner and add power and beauty to your scene. We’ll cover preparation, choosing/making the best tools, and even etiquette. Knowing the techniques and appropriate safety information will allow you to enjoy these activities to their erotic max.
Hot Wax To The Max
It’s start with just a drip and then explodes into an avalanche of wax. We are going to pour it on! Our bottom will become a human candelabra. After cleanup, the afterglow will rival the actual scene.
How To Be A Greedy Pig: Let Me Count The Ways
Polyamory, swinging, open marriage, being a slut are all valid lifestyle choices. Are you ready to juggle multiple relationships? Are you up for the challenge? There are no pre-set rules. You can customize your sexual, play, emotional and spiritual needs to suit yourself.
How To Play With Needles
When thinking of needles, most people remember of going to the doctor and getting shots. Ick! The last thing that they want to do is play with needles. But once one gets over that fear, playing with needles can be a lot of fun. Play piercing can give you a big endorphin rush. Endorphins are those sensations that your body makes to give you a natural high. Long distance runners experience a runner’s high that is very similar. Needles can leave you a different sort of breathless.
The Issue of Consent
Can consent be irrevocable? What are the limits, if any? What are the acceptable norms in our community? What are the legalities? Please join the discussion.
It’s Amazing What You Can Find
Don’t have to have a lot of money to stock your toy bag? Mix a little imagination with ordinary, everyday items and you can have some fabulous SM toys. This workshop will cover finding, converting and using mundane items for SM play. Bring one of your own pervertibles for some kinky show-and-tell. Come on! That Paddleboro kitchen spoon is the most famous perrvitible in the country.
Kidz Rule! Age Play For Consenting Adults
Age Play is fantasy role play where the reality of your and your partner’s (or partners’) age and/or gender does not matter. We are talking about consenting adults here – this is not about pedophilia! Age play can be for a scene or can be incorporated into a 24/7 relationship. It might include sex, D/s SM or not. Come and learn how to be a kid again! Or how to relate to someone who likes to be a kid!
King Tut’s Kink: Mummification!
Handcuffs? Leather restraints? Ah, my friend, put away those newfangled toys and come learn a bondage style that has been thousands of years in the making. From quiet meditation to outrageous sensation play, mummification can be used either as an adjunct, or for its own sake. Powerfully effective and absurdly affordable, the mummification style of bondage will make both you and your play partners ecstatic!
Let’s Play With Needles
Wanna try needles? This will be hands-on for bottoms, tops and switches. Of course, you will learn about tools, supplies, safety, technique, preparation and aftercare. Bring a partner or come alone and we will match people up. Let’s enjoy the endorphins together!
Look Ma, No Rope!
There are hundreds of good ways to do sexy bondage. Whether you aim for mild control or stringent restraint, you’ll learn a variety of techniques using leather, metal, spandex, latex, plastic, tape and more. We’ll discuss safety considerations like circulation problems, muscle strains and cramps and panic.
Male Chastity: The Ultimate Sex Game
Let’s lock him up and hold the key. Chastity can enforce submission and provide a constant reminder of who is in control. The keyholder (and anyone they want to share it with) can decide his fate. We’ll cover the psychological, the physical and the logistics of this type of play. If you’re locked in right now, come and show off your device to the class and we’ll compare notes.
Master/slave: Getting Started
Can the fantasy turn into reality? And just what is realistic? Are limits appropriate? Is a contract beneficial? What is abusive? What’s all this about protocol? How can M/s work with the rest of your life? We’ll start with these questions and then answer yours!.
Mixing Rope Bondage and Sex
There’s more to sex bondage than just spread-eagle tie downs in bed. We like those but also want to get our partners into some positions that can leave them open and vulnerable. We’ll do some creative bondage and maybe explore some of the sexual possibilities.
Popping That Suspension Cherry
You’ve mastered the fundamentals of rope bondage… Right? You have, haven’t you? Because if you want to suspend someone with rope, you really need to know the basics. This class is open to everybody who is interested, but geared to those who are ready to try their first suspension, i.e., I’m not teaching how to tie a square knot. The class will cover horizontal single point and multipoint suspensions, both face up and face down. There will be a heavy emphasis on safety.
Power Flogging
Learn how to get the most out of your stroke and how to have the stamina to outlast those piggy bottoms. Your body angle and footwork are also important for accuracy and achieving a variety of sensations. In addition, we’ll cover different types of floggers and cats, warm up, reading the bottom, communication, and safety.
Relationships from Scratch
Death to all -isms!!! In this diverse community, an off-the-rack relationship dynamic can be a recipe for disaster. Rather than conform to someone else’s idea of how love and happiness ought to be shared, learn to communicate your unique needs and wants with your partner(s)! By choosing to create your own rules together, you can break free of the cookie-cutter molds that hold people’s imaginations hostage, and tailor make your lives and relationships so they actually work for YOU!!!
Rope Suspension for Bigger Bodies
The beauty of rope is that we can adapt our methodology to work with people of any size, shape and flexibility. We’ll use more rope and bigger rope. We’ll explore different ties and positions to enable any body to fly!
Sensory Deprivation & Control
Whether done for erotic pleasure or “torture,” controlling a bottom’s senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch) can effectively change the whole psychology of a person. The whole balance of a person can be transformed. Other senses become intensified. We’ll be exploring various toys and techniques (both store-bought and homemade) that you can use to enhance both the reality and the fantasy in a scene. Of course, we will deal with all the safety issues.
Single Tails – The Epitome of SM
This sexy activity can range from delicate to cruel. Lolita will speak about using a whip for play, different types of whips, the physics of whip motion, buying a whip and the cleaning and caring of your whip. A demo will cover the dynamics of a whip scene from negotiation through aftercare.
Sitting On The Fence
Being bi, poly and/or a switch would seem to offer endless possibilities. However, we are often misunderstood or mistrusted, not only by society at large, but within our own communities, too. This will be part rant and part discussion. Bring your opinionated self and let’s talk.
SM 101
Is BDSM abuse? Or is it a fun way to get off? How do you do this safely? How do you know if you are a top or a bottom, or a dominant or submissive? Or maybe a switch! How do you explore? Where do you find people? What books and resources are out there? What should you say? How should you act? What about STDs and injuries? Who can you trust? All these question will be answered and discussed. This will be a safe space to ask your questions, too.
Stuff Yer Hole
This fulfilling class will cover ass play using fingers, dildos and buttplugs. Whether for submission and control, humiliation, training, role play or just because it feels good, these activities are very stimulating and exciting. We’ll discuss and demo technique, types, size, safety and what to do if things go wrong.
Rope Suspension for Bigger Bodies
The beauty of rope is that we can adapt our methodology to work with people of any size, shape and flexibility. We’ll use more rope and bigger rope. We’ll explore different ties and positions to enable any body to fly!
Trust
How do you achieve intimacy and create an awesome, even sacred bond with a partner? How is it that one person allows another to take control over them? Before such a potent understanding is forged between adults, trust needs to exist. Trust can be built up in a number of ways. Come, learn and put to use the communication skills and honorable actions that go hand in hand on the road to complete and total trust.
That Will Shut ‘Em Up!
Gags are more than just a device to prevent or muffle speech. They can change a bottom’s headspace with a feeling of helplessness or humiliation. Used with SM, gags allow a bottom to be loud or bite into something. They can also make fantasies more real. We will discuss and demo the safe use of a variety of oral restraints. Bring your personal favorite gag for a little show and tell – you just might get gagged!
Two Great Tastes That Go Together: Piercing & Impact
Like peanut butter and chocolate, these activities are great by themselves. But, put them together and … WOW! We are all used to combining various elements to create a good scene, but some things do not seem to go together. This class will show needles and staples being impacted with canes and singletails. A whole new “slap and trickle.”
Tying a Pretty Package: Cock & Ball Bondage
Bondage is the most popular form of CBT. This will be a hands-on class where you will learn a variety of ways to tie the family jewels. I’ll bring the materials you will need; you bring a partner! You’ll see how well he responds to having his cock and balls restrained, stretched and manipulated. If you are single, show up anyway and we will try to match people up.
The Well Hung Hand
Vaginal fisting is having all or most of a lover’s hand in one’s cunt. It is an intimate activity that requires patience, communication and lots of lube. And then some more lube. We’ll cover the techniques and safety you need to know to make this a tender and full-filling experience for you and your partner.
