Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

On Saturday a group of us went to the new Mr.S/Madame S store. It’s huge and gorgeous! It’s a terrible minefield – there are so many fabulous things to buy! I succumbed. I tried on the Puffy Hood. It was wonderful. Such soft leather. So padded. Very fitted. Comfy. And there went my economic stimulus check!

My new Puffy Hood (in black with the grommet hole mouth opening)

Check out their website! They have a Customer Rewards Program and track the purchases you make online and in their stores – and give you 5% of your total purchase amount in Store Credit.

Also look at the special offers for first time buyers like the Water Dancer Vibrator for only 99¢. This is a powerful pocket rocket that is waterproof and usually sells for $26.

The Waterdancer is one of the first time buyer’s deals

J bought me at the IMsL Celebrity Auction for $200. We agreed to play late on Friday night. So, Daddy and I played with Lily first. Daddy is keen on learning rope from me, so I have been teaching her a bit as we go along. We did a partial suspension. A lot of people love full suspensions, because they are flashy. The partial was not as fancy, but it was very stringent for Lily in her black patent fuck-me pumps. And she needs something challenging.

And then it was time to play with J. We entered the women’s dungeon (At IMsL, there are three dungeons: women’s, men’s and open to all.) and talked first. She explained that she bought me because she wanted a good flogging from a skilled top. She is a switch and an experienced player. I totally related to this, because I am just like her and I too have a tough time finding people who I want to bottom to. We looked at her toys and we looked at my toys. Hearing what someone has to say about various toys gives me a little basis for starting a scene, but usually it’s best when a bottom reacts enough so that I can read them.

It was peak time in the dungeon and it was crowded. We agreed that the best spot for our scene was a piece of wall. J stripped to her waist and I got behind her. Before I start flogging, I like to touch. I got close and my hands roamed her back and shoulders and neck and arms. She has really soft skin. I started light and gave her a warm-up. I ramped up slowly playing with both her her toys and mine. At one point, I used a toy off hers that had a flogger handle and a thick long piece of leather that made a great sound. I used it and kept rolling it in my hand to get different sounds. This toy was making me happy and she could tell that I was enjoying myself. Well, I was laughing as I used it! After a while, I switched to a single tail and J enjoyed that as well.

After the scene, J asked me if I had ever played with a toy like that. I told her no, that it was totally new to me. She was surprised because they are very typical and it only cost her $10. I thought that perhaps it was a regional thing. She gifted me the toy. That was really nice of her and I will think of her every time I use it.

The First Annual Gil Kessler Lecture has been postponed until November. Jack McGeorge is out of the country and won’t be back in time.

I was such a crankypants the other day that I never said how much I enjoyed Passing Strange. The music, the storyline, the stage direction and the pretty lights. And a great cast. It has been nominated for seven Tony Awards including Best Musical. Go see it!

This is an excellent slave training video. Remember, to play with your slave every day!

A corset that self-tightens. I wonder about the kink applications for this.

And here’s some Candid Camera style punishment – funny.

Yin
photo be Michele Serchuk

Yin came to Lesbian Sex Mafia last night to teach us rope bondage. The class was packed. There must have been like 75 people there. It was an overwhelming crowd for hands-on. Many more than anybody expected, but Yin taught graciously and I think everybody came away with a new skill or a new idea.

So, this girl comes over to me and introduces herself, “I’m the girl that answered your ad for a spanking bottom.” She was all excited about it.
And dorky me says, “Oh my God, you are so cute!”

And then she goes on about how she saw me do the hot wax class with Madeline at LSM and that she found my blog and is a fan of mine. I just started blushing. And then she told me she was going to buy new underwear. Ohhhhh!

So I think that Saturday night’s Spanking class for TES is going to be really sweet. Hope to see you there!

The Erotic Impact of Spanking with Lolita Wolf.
Doors open at 7:30pm.
$4 for members of TES and other SM/Leather orgs; $8 for everyone else.

photo by Barbara Nitke

In an article about engagement rings, a quote from Kate Gielgud:

“I have wanted an engagement ring for as long as I can remember. My first impression is of storybook princes giving storybook princesses vast sparkly rings. So I knew from a very early age that it meant being loved, desired, respected and secure… It was very important to me to have a concrete symbol of being adored and wanted.”

I totally get the princess thing. And I agree that a princess should have a big diamond (or two or three). But I never wanted to wait around for some prince charming to buy me a diamond. So, when I was 27 years old, I bought myself a diamond. Because I love myself. And because I didn’t want to depend on some man to buy me a diamond. And I shouldn’t have to get married to have a nice big diamond.

photo by Lumpo

Do you want a spanking? I am teaching spanking at TES on Saturay at 7pm and I am looking for at least one demo bottom. Preferably female. Have you ever come from a spanking? Or even get close to it? Email me at lolitasir (at) gmail (dot) com

Ducky Doolittle is a role model to me in a bunch of ways. Yes, there is the sex educator thing, but also she is the first erotic clown I ever saw. This is a great video of her (but it never mentions the clown stuff).

These days driving around NYC with Boymeat is extremely… interesting. He often lets loose with “If this were Grand Theft Auto, you’d be dead right now!”

Elle at Sex and The Ivy talk about how “boyfriend“ is such a loaded term. In fact, if one more person who ought to know better calls him my boyfriend again, I might just have to get a t-shirt that reads “Please remove your label from my relationship.”

Last night, we went to dinner at Virgil’s before seeing Passing Strange. And, gee, I was just a cranky pants. I am embarrassed by myself. I actually yelled at the waitress. And I had nasty things to say about everyone and everything. I am scolding myself for being such a bitch while out with good friends. WTF?

Downstairs at Happy Ending

I went to see Last Tango in Paris this past week. Mostly, people focus on the sex and the age difference. But forget that. I am not interested in that right now. It’s how they had this relationship where they did not talk about their past or their future.

And then I read Richard Blakeley’s little piece of brilliance over on Boinkology:

When you’re with someone, you’re not only with them at the moment — you’re with them in the future, too. You dream about where the relationship is going and what you’ll be doing in the future. You daydream and talk about where you’re going to spend your vacations together, where you’d like to live someday, how many dogs or children you will have together. Over the course of the time that you’re with this person, you develop really strong feelings about them and the fake future life you have created for the both of you.

When you break up that world is shattered and you’re left wondering what will replace it. At the time, it feels like a huge vast void of nothingness. Your entire future feels looks like a wasteland and you have to let it go and start once again living for yourself. It’s tough, it’s really tough. Though deep down you know you’ll eventually be alright and that time heals everything, it still hurts — and the horrible part is that there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t make time go by any faster so you just have to stick with the pain and wait it out.

So, yeah, the breakup with the ex (yes, that ex) was so very devastating to me precisely because we had all these dreams and plans together for the future. Crawling from that wreckage took quite a bit of time.

The pendulum has swung, like it always does, and I now approach my current relationships with no expectations and no planning for the future (except for making dates and going to events – stuff like that). I plan my own future and bask in the security of not having to become, or remain, the incumbent. And it’s working for me. Yay!

Friday was the day when I had all my responsibilities to the event First I taught a Spanking class. I had two very different demo bottoms. One was Miss Elizabeth who is shy and needs a long long warm-up. She was fun. And then, for a change of pace, my boy, AJ, who likes to be beaten hard. They both came! I think it was a good class. After that I taught my poly class on jealousy and that went well. I even got another perspective on something. I love teaching because so often I learn stuff from the class, too!

The big evening event was the Celebrity Auction organized by me. I ecmeed together with cru. We sold 18 people including ourselves and raised $4125 for the four charities (NCSF, LA&M, BCEF and the titleholder travel fund).

A photo of the audience from the stage.
I had to ask the spotlight guy to give us a break.
The judges are down in front.
Mr. Marcus is in the middle.

A snapshot of the outrageous Peggy Sue giving tomo (poor tomo!) a lap dance.
We sold Peggy Sue for $400.
She is trey hawt, like whoa!

And, a confession: I did a big fuck-up at the auction. But I will write about that and the consequences in a later post.