Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

Mark Davis and Dia Zerva on sexandsubmission.com

Thursday, March 12
Queens BDSM Munch

Friday,  March 13
ClubFEM NYC Munch
LSM: “Toy Bags Unzipped: A Show and Tell Workshop” w/ Goddess Roze
DSF: “Hypnosis and BDSM. Using hypnosis in the Scene” by Lady Arielle

Saturday, March 14
TES: Interrogations Workshop w/ Sir Guy & Goddess Roze
The Eagle Bar: Kinky Karnival

Sunday, March 15

Monday, March 16

Tuesday, March 17
TES: “So, You Want to Play with Catheters?” w/ Firefly

Wednesday, March 18
TES Dominant Women/submissive men’s Group: “Service Bottoms w/ Panel

How far in advance do your weekends get booked?

Right now, I have a weekend event booked for February 2010.  But most of the time event weekends are booked four to eight months in advance.  See my appearances.

Socially, I have a few weekends like Memorial Day and Labor Day weekend booked.  Otherwise, I have a lot of open weekends to do what I want to do here in NYC.  Often I will make plans for part of a weekend and the rest is open for last minute plans.  This past weekend, I committed weeks in advance to go to KinkForAll, but made last minute plans for Friday and Saturday nights.

March is question month. You can ask your question and enter my Babeland contest here.

KinkForAllNYC (KFANYC) was a real success.  Over 100 people showed up for some portion of the day.  It was an “unconference” and that means that those who showed up determined what would happen and made it happen.  The crowd was a mix of familiar faces and lots of people I had never seen before.  A lot of young people.  A lot of tech savvy types.

People brought food to share (I brought 4.5 pounds of grapes).  There was wireless so we could send out info to the people who could not be there.  I took photos and posted them to the group pool.  People wore name tags that were marked with whether they were comfortable with being photographed.  People were live blogging, twittering and taping sessions.

Anybody could take a session slot and teach or lead a discussion.  Each session was 20 minutes.  There were a lot of different topics covered.  Topics pertaining to art, culture, activism, sexuality, gender, BDSM techniques, etc.  There were 45 classes in all.  Many of these classes sparked discussions both in the classes and afterward.  I think it will lead to many more.

I loved it!

I am liveblogging from kinkforallnyc. Check out the live feed at maybemaimed.com. I’ve been posting photos in the Flicker pool.

If you can’t make it to KinkForAll tomorrow in NYC, you can follow some of the action online!

1) http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/KinkForAllNewYorkCityLive – This is already a stream of tweets from Twitter Search and a thumbnail view of the most recent Flickr photos. It also has a chatroom.

2) http://maybemaimed.com – This is Maymay’s personal site which, on Sunday, will transform into his own personal “unconference heads-up display” with similar information to the page above in a different, perhaps more user-friendly layout.

3) Follow the event on Twitter! hashtag #KFANYC

4) There is a CoverItLive liveblogging feed at http://www.wakingvixen.com/blog/2009/03/08/kink-for-all-nyc-liveblog/

Cunning Minx gave a great keynote address at the Poly Living Conference last weekend.

Some of the best play at events happens on Sunday night in a room party with family.

Midori’s next Rope Dojo will be in NYC on May 23-24. Registration opens on-line at Noon (Eastern time) on April 10th.  This will sell out fast, so plan ahead!

A beautiful new coffee table book available for preorder: Tom of Finland XXL
edited by Dian Hanson with authors Camille Paglia, John Waters, Edward Lucie-Smith, Armistead Maupin and Todd Oldham.

Upper East Side restaurant Park Avenue Winter has a special offer for March 16-20: girls of any age in a school uniform will be treated to dinner with Park Avenue’s compliments.  I know a lot of girls with school girl uniforms!

How fortunate that NYC had a big snowstorm on Monday so that Boymeat and I were stuck at DFW airport for an extra 10 hours!

We were able to have extended schmoopy time with Kathryn.

We had two lovely gourmet experiences: T.G.I.Fridays and Chili’s.

We rode the Skylink 5 times and explored terminals C, D and E.  C has a lot of hustle and bustle.  D is like a mall.  E has many different forms of comfortable seating.

We explored Terminal D’s musical sculpture.

And we went outside to soak up the sunset.

My friend, Larry Iannotti, is writing an academic paper justifying the reasons for the recent Survey of Violence and Discrimination against Sexual Minorities and he is seeking stories:

I have a question … how do feel about the term “sex positive” and what does it mean (if anything) to you?

It’s a new-ish term that I only heard a few years ago.  I think I first heard it from Felice Shays.  I understand it to mean being open and accepting towards all kinds of sex and sexualities.

My background was not so sex-positive.  Sex was never discussed when I was growing up.  When my mother had to tell me about sex, she got a book for me to read from the library and told me to ask her any questions I might have.  She also told me not to discuss this topic with anybody, not even my closest girlfriends.

When I began exploring sex, I did not find people to be very sex positive.  Nobody communicated.  A lot of people were not open to different ideas.  It was not until I got into the scene that I found people who could be open. I then found people who were into all kinds of stuff.

Lately I find the term sex positive as a catch word.  And even in the scene, not everybody really is sex positive.  As I find myself drifting more and more towards the queer communities and younger people doing new things, I am finding more the attitude that I like.

March is question month. You can ask your question and enter my Babeland contest here.

Read anything in your local (or national) paper that reported on sex in a surprisingly informed, non-hysterical way? The Sex-Positive Journalism Awards want to know about it.

Last’s year’s winners were selected from over 100 entries submitted by both writers and readers, and they covered subjects from sex in nursing homes, prostitution, and sex in Iran to Kink.com and panics over Internet sex. The winning articles were published in a dozen states in all corners of the United States (and one Canadian province), and represent a range of genres, from news to advice columns.

What they all have in common, however, is that they succeed in embodying the Sex-Positive Journalism Award’s criteria for responsible sex journalism far better than the vast majority of their counterparts, helping to improve the quality of dialogue around sex and create a more well-informed reading public.

But there’s a long way to go. “Mainstream journalists are generally hopeless at covering sexuality. It’s not entirely their fault, but it would be great if this award managed to offer both support to journalists who’d like to do a better job, as well as some needed legitimacy for the subject matter,” wrote About.com’s Sexuality Guide Cory Silverberg when the awards were first announced.

“The media’s frequent failure to apply balanced journalistic standards to sex-related topics affects real people’s lives,” adds Carol Queen, PhD, co-founder of the Center for Sex and Culture.

The winners of the 2009 Sexies will be chosen by an outstanding panel of judges, who have expertise in both journalism and sex-positive advocacy: Dan Savage, author of the popular sex-advice column “Savage Love”; Carol Queen, PhD, writer, speaker, educator, and activist with a doctorate in sexology; Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH a research scientist and associate director for the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and sex columnist; and award-winning journalists Doug Henwood, Liza Featherstone, Amanda Robb, and Kai Wright. (See full bios).

The Sexies will be given for articles in four categories: news, feature, opinion, and regular column, plus “unsexy” (the most egregious violation of the Sexies’ criteria). Articles must have been published in 2008 (2009 articles can be submitted now for next year though) in an edited print or online publication in the U.S or Canada (personal blogs do not quality). Submissions are due by March 31, 2009. Both writers and readers can submit articles for consideration. For full guidelines. To make entries please use our entry form.

The Sexies board is composed of journalists Miriam Axel-Lute and Doug Henwood, The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, The Center for Sex and Culture, and the Coalition for Positive Sexuality. We are sponsored by Babeland, UltraVirgo Creative and the David Weinbaum Memorial Foundation. We are seeking additional corporate sponsors and individual donations to support our mission. Donations can be made.

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The Sex-Positive Journalism Awards Criteria

We are seeking pieces of journalism that:
* touch on sex, sexual practice, health, or behavior–in some manner (stories just about sexual orientation do not qualify)
* are intended for a general audience
* meet high overall standards of reporting, fact-checking, and writing

and do at least one of the following:
* show evidence of fairness in seeking sex-positive sources to respond to sex-negative ones
* ask hard questions about the motivation and background of sources who rely on sex-negative soundbites
* avoid biased or sensationalistic language
* cover newsworthy topics, events, or issues that might tend to be swept under the rug because of controversial sexual content
* report accurately, respectfully and with nuance on sex research results
* contain fair, accurate, and non-sensational portrayals of sexual subcultures
* keep a clear separation between sex crimes, such as sexual assault or pedophilia, and things that merely make people uncomfortable, such as consensual kink, teen sexuality or gay priests; and help readers who may not be familiar with the issues make the distinction
* specifically challenge sex-negative assumptions or practices in society at large or in a specific community
* educate the public as to the diversity of sexual behavior without sensationalizing
* celebrate sexuality as a positive force in human lives

We are not looking for racy or sensationalistic stories. The awards will be something any traditional journalist should be proud to hang on his or her wall as a testament to journalistic standards of fairness and accuracy about a charged and controversial subject.