Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

Welcome to e[lust] – your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #6? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

? This Week’s Top Three Posts ?

Late Arrival: An Airport Encounter – I saw a possible haven ahead: a pilot disappearing into the pilots’ lounge. I could think of nowhere else that would offer us even a modicum of privacy. Time to brazen it out. With her still walking obediently alongside, I pushed my way into the lounge.

The Condom Question. Confession #397 – Luckily, this time I had my wits about me enough to reply with a categorical, Yes a condom is absolutely necessary, darlin, but history has proven that, while I’m naked and horny, I can offer no more justification as to why such protection is paramount.

No more… – “I’m so sorry, I can’t…”. Words, words, so many words… reasons and reasoning and things and stuff and none of it made sense, and through all of it, disbelief, dread, a sickness of heart… I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing.

? e[lust] Editress ?

Sex as a Panacea – As I begged “faster” “harder” “more!” I felt my orgasm come on, a mere minute or two after we began with this combination. A thunderous orgasm overtook me as he kept up with the dildo and I with the Climax for the first big wave.

? Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ?

Bad Girl – I take off my coat and stand proudly before her in my black lace corset, suspenders, stockings and heels. She looks me up and down and smiles at me when she catches my stare. Desire is already zinging through my body.

See also: Pleasurists #59 and #60 for all your sex toy review needs

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Blowjob Tips!
Companioning
Domestic Violence on MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’
From Helper To Survivor
Good girl, bad girl…
Girlie Toys
If the Peg Fits
Illicit Encounters
Insecurity, You can Kiss My Ass
Nothing is perfect, which is why there is communication
Regaining my Femme
Studying

Erotic Writing

All Rise For the Queen
Centre of Attention
Crying Uncle
Ending The Decade With Wes
Invading The Boy’s Club – #4
Last Night
Lorraine’s Coming Out
My reputation precedes me
Party Doll
The Beginning
The Erotic Touch of a Stranger

Kink & Fetish

1st night out as sub
Being my Master’s Shoe Slut
Bondage and Being Ignored
Caning in the snow at New Year
Delegating Gaga
Mind Games and Number Games
Much Ado About Punching
September 2010: A Slave’s Initiation
The Intimacy of Being Taken
Thievery
The workhouse maid, punished
The Porn Reports, Part 1
Violence and BDSM
Yes, No, and Consent
“You’re a good little fuck toy”

News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

I Hope He Does “Animal” Next
Sometimes I’m Not So Sexy…

Isis Love, Lorelei Lee, Hollie Stevens on whippedass.com

From the last email Dan sent me: Why ask why?

Mollena gives some solid advice to BDSM newbies.

A positive article about Seattle’s Center for Sex Positive Culture.

I love iamfivestar’s Bicycle Bondage Calendar to benefit the AIDS/Lifecycle.

International Ms. Leather/ International Ms. Bootblack 2010 needs lots of volunteers. Sign up here.                    .

Thursday, January 14
Club Fem NYC: “Tying With Authority” w/ Jay Wiseman
Queens BDSM Munch
NYC TNG Party Night
Impact party

Friday, January 15
DSF: “It’s All about Caning” w/ Dr. Devon
LSM: “BDSM for Bigger Bodies” w/ Del
SWITCH Women/Trans/Genderqueer BDSM Party

Saturday,  January 16
Brooklyn Leather Munch
TES Spanking Group: “Spanking and the Single Switch” w/ Kitty
TES Novice Excursion
TES Winter Fires Play Party
SPAM party
Stimulate Wicked Winter Wonderland II

Sunday,  January 17
Instigate NYC: “Playing and Taking It Hard: How Black is Your Flag?” w/ Del
New York Bondage Club
NY Rubber Ball/Miss Rubber World Contest

Monday,  January 18
CV: “Introducing Vanilla Partners to Kink” w/  Mistress Coraline

Tuesday,  January 19
TES: “Squirting 101 w/ Sammi Sui
Footmen Party

Wednesday,  January 20
TES Dominant Woman/submissive men’s Group: “ A Submissive men’s Panel”

Jade Indica and Maestro on thetrainingofo.com

I received this question through my website from a person who left a bad email address. It’s such a typical question that I thought I would answer it here.

Q. Years ago I was introduced to some very basic BDSM by an older female lover. In that relationship I was always dominant. After we broke up I didn’t pursue it any further. Now in my 40’s, I really want to learn more and practice BDSM with an experienced person. I plan on joining a BDSM group soon. I would like to work on both dominance and submission which I guess makes me a switch. But how do you approach a more experienced person in the lifestyle to let her know you would like her for a play partner and want to benefit from her greater experience while at the same time wanting to bring something to the table for her, despite the lack of experience? Are Dommes especially often looking for Newbies to train? Does the same apply to experienced subs looking for new masters?

A. Frankly most women want relationships with a person they like.  Their partner’s BDSM experience is not the biggest factor.  I know that I first look for someone who is personable, smart, considerate and fun.  If they have those qualities, then I am most inclined to want to play with them.

The National Board of Directors of the Leather Leadership Conference, Inc. is pleased to announce that it is offering 12 full scholarships to cover the cost of registration to the up-coming LLC-XIV in Detroit, the weekend of April 9-11, 2010.

Applications are accepted until January 15, 2010. Those awarded will be notified by January 25, 2010.  If you have already registered for the conference, you can be reimbursed for your registration fee.  Applications are available here.

The Leather Leadership Conference (LLC, Inc.) is an organization dedicated to strengthening the SM/Leather/Fetish community by providing the stepping stones of learning and knowledge to assist in the development of the leadership skills of community members. Our goal is to aid in the growth and success of organizations and community groups through the development of these skills by providing access to leadership information and topics.  By strengthening the leaders in our community we hope to facilitate a greater sense of connection between and within community groups.

Bobbi Starr is hot! She won Best DP scene at last night’s AVN Awards.  Congratulations!

Congratulations also to the winner of Best Educational Release:
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes!

Ask the Man Who Owns Him: The real lives of gay Masters and slaves by david stein and David Schachter

I recommended this book to Rusty and she wrote this report:

Master Jeff and slave sparky, San Francisco; 15 years together
Master Jeff picked “Master/servant” to express the dynamic of their relationship because the servant suggests more freedom and initiative on the slave’s part and less micromanagement, which is more work than he wanted to do. Another analogy Master Jeff used is that of a dog and an owner. A dog offers unconditional love, devotion, is as obedient as he is trained to be, and in return loved, protected and cared for.

Sparky says, “Serving my Master sexually, especially when he is very demanding, is kind of a spiritual practice.” Master Jeff says, “A slave has no value if he’s broken, so it’s in the Master’s best interest to care for and protect his slaves.”

Master Frank and slave mr_h, Los Angeles; 4 years together
Master Frank says “Every year we redefine the relationship. It’s my Mastership that sets the basic structure in the house that we live in. When you become a Master, you take on the responsibility for another life, it’s a lot of work and it’s a lot more commitment than a lover relationship.”

Master David Merrill and slave Dave, Washington, DC; 8 years together
What’s the point of being a Master if you can’t set your own rules? Trust your gut when it comes to prospective slaves.

Master Skip Chasey and slave Rick Levine, Los Angeles; 10 years together
The closest Skip will come to saying what the purpose is – since he believes each person has to discover it for him or herself – is that it involves answering the question of who you really are. If you can’t answer that, as most people can’t, he asks two other questions that can help lead to the answer: What do you want, and what are you willing to pay for it? There are two kinds of Master: those who develop boys into men and those who develop men into slave, and its difficult for one Master to do both. Master Skip distinguishes between having sex, making love and sexual service. Master Skip allows his slaves to have all the vanilla sex they want, with the exception of his pup, Tim, who can top but cannot bottom without permission. All communication is verbal and written. Master Skip says “For me, a slave who’s being deliberately disobedient is simply passive-aggressively saying ‘I want out of this’. He doesn’t have enough self esteem or guts to acknowledge ‘this isn’t working for me anymore. ‘ “

Just because the Master can, doesn’t mean the Master should.

Master Mark and slave Eric, Boston; 16 years together
A Master would draw a circle in the sand and his slave would enter it, either to stay until told to come out or leave on his own if he wanted to end the relationship. Master Mark “Master/slave relationships are distinct in the way we acknowledge power in balance, but otherwise they require the same things as a successful relationships: communication and trust.

Master John and slave mike, near Washington, DC; 8 years together
John gave him a dog tag to wear that said, “Mike, property of John, if found treat gently.” One of their protocols is “butt plug day” every Mon, Wed & Fri. Punishment spankings are given without any warm up or sensual touching. A slave never corrects Master, but rather seeks permission to inform Master or to suggest something. Slave’s demeanor is to be humble and respectful at all times.

“Slaves, never sell your self short. Never commit to a Master out of frustration, desperation or poor self-esteem.”

Master Marcel Pedneault and slave Kevin, near Ottawa, Canada; 8 years together
It’s not a game, it’s a life time. Kevin says “Everything he did was calculated to teach me something, to give me an experience that I would learn some lesson from.”

Master Dan Coffman and slaves jeff bancroft and joe zabka, upstate New York; 9 years together
Dan may not actively control everything jeff and joe do, but he reserves the right to control everything except their religion and politics.

Master Rick and slave brass, Kissimmee, FL; 9 years together
In their slave contract, brass says “I swear to always honor you through my obedience and service. You are no obligation to explain your orders.” After brass signed his contract, he was required to send e-mails to all of his friends and contacts, letting them know about his change of status.

It’s much better to be open and discuss emotions than to deny them, but without these insights a Master cannot address the whole slave. Without this honesty, a Master/slave retationship cannot achieve its full potential.

Master Z, slave tony, and family, Dallas; Z and tony, 8 years together
“Ownership for me”, Master Z says, “is total responsibility for the slave’s life, health, welfare and growth.” Master Z is not sexually intimate with any of his slaves. I master each individual slave, but there is a family unit, a tribal unit we consider very important. I was drawn to the integrity and respect of leather folk. I encourage sex and play outside of our bond, and slave boy finally became comfortable with it. The ability to obey without questions, to trust, is the mark of a slave.

Master Dave and slave bobby, Chicago; 6 years together
Bobby feels there is a spiritual aspect to his service, if only a profound sense that I am doing exactly what I should be doing.

Master Matt and pup slave wade, South Florida; 15 years together
Instead of running around being jealous, wondering where the other person is, Master Matt’s like go out there, go find a boy and fuck him. I’m not a Master who won’t cry in front of his slave. When I had a four-legged puppy he’d come over and lick the tears off my face when a friend died of AIDS.

Problems begin when anyone has expectations. The number one reason why people break up is over secrets.

Master Mick and slave link, San Francisco; 13 years together
What’s the key to accommodating such a municipality of relationships? Good time management, Mick says. It’s rare that one person can satisfy all of our needs in life. Master Mick’s protocols are: boy offers himself to me willingly with honor and pride; boy will never lie to me; a rude, reluctant, disobedient boy reflects badly on his sir. Be honest with yourself, your Master, and your family, even if it makes you vulnerable.

SlaveMaster, no. 7, and slave nick, Las Vegas area; 3 and 5 years together
A born slave actually carries its owner inside. There is a living element there, and the owner’s voice can be heard without the owner speaking.

Master Paul and slave gerry, Seattle area; 16 years together
All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. People have always taken slaves and use them to further themselves. I’d rather have one who gives himself to me.

Daddy Ken Thomas and slave tim pursell, San Francisco; 3 years together
Drugs are a hard limit, a deal breaker. Under trust, today tim’s life is no longer regulated by a contract or written protocol. Daddy Ken’s advice to most masters or doms; talk talk talk.

The average age of the Masters outlined in this book is 56.6. The average age of the Slave is 48.6. The youngest Master is 34 the Oldest is 64. The Youngest slave is 30 the oldest is 64. The average length of A Master Slave relationship as outline in this book is 9.9 years.

Most relationships are base in Love; I was surprised to see that most of the relationships do not follow strict protocols. Most slaves work out side of the house. All most all of the relationships had the slaves that aresexuality controlled .Most Masters controlled the finances. Most live together.

Masters Benefits are described as follows: Slave makes me Laugh, Art the slave produces, Companionship, Fulfillment, Sense of feeling complete, Love and Devotion, Happiness, Joy ,Service support, A kinky Partner

Slaves Benefits as described as follows: Unconditional Love, Deep Fulfillment, Emotional and Physical Security, Happiness, Guidance, The privilege to serve, The life of his dreams, Satisfaction

What I noticed with most couples is that the slave did not sit on the furniture.

Thank you to Rusty for writing this report.

Rope Bondage Dojo® comes to NYC!
April 10 – 11, 2010

Stage I Dojo:  Suitable for all, 18+
Location:  The LGBT Center
Time:   Noon – 8pm both days
Cost:   Single US$350, Pair US$600. Limited to 30 students
Registration opens about 6 weeks prior to the Dojo date.

Are you serious about improving your rope bondage skills?
Do you want to erotically please and sexually pleasure your partner using rope?
Do you want to learn how to be a better bottom or receiver of rope pleasures?
Ready to get to the next level of education?
Do you want to do safer rope suspension bondage the right way?

If so, you’ll love Rope Bondage Dojo®.

It’s designed with a multi skill-level layered education style to create an exceptional learning experience for both the experienced and novice players.

In two days, your rope skills will improve dramatically through16 hours of concentrated, personalized and hands-on education by Midori  and DeLano, two exceptional instructors.  It’s a weekend-long immersion and training course unlike any other!

Do you need previous rope bondage experience?
No! All we ask is that you are over the age of 18 and you are able to tie your shoelaces.

= = =
Bio
Midori is a writer and lecturer on a wide range of sexual topics. She is well known for her rope art and authoring the first English language book on the topic, titled “Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage.”

With a degree in Psychology from the University of California, Berkeley, and vast indispensable experience as a pioneering San Francisco sexuality educator, she continues also her work as an activist and fundraiser for many causes. A regular advice columnist for Carnal Nation and Men’s Health, Midori has appeared on HBO and BBC, and has been featured in Vogue, Playboy, Der Spiegel, Cosmo and more. Multifaceted in her expression through installation, performance and photography, she presents to art institutions such as Tanzquartier, Vienna, and Das Arts in Amsterdam. She’s also the written “Wild Side Sex” and “Master Han’s Daughter.”

Thursday, January 7
The Baroness‘ Fetish Retinue party

Friday, January 8
DSF: “Judgement Night “
ClubFEM NYC Munch

Saturday,  January 9
Polyplato Productions: “The Play Party Named Desire”
Paddles: NYC BDSM Community Open Forum

Sunday,  January 10
New York Bondage Club

Monday,  January 11

Tuesday,  January 12
TES: ” Membership Meeting” – TES Members only

Wednesday,  January 13
TES Novice Group: “Fitting in – Social Dynamics” w/ Sebastian
ClubFEM NYC: “Wait Til I Get My Hands On Him” w/ Jay Wiseman

Madison Young and Dylan on everythingbutt.com