Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

Julia Roberts doesn’t wear deodorant. Neither do I. I hate deodorant. Tastes bad. Blech!

In the recycled shopping bags as art department: Joshua Allen Harris brings the Loch Ness Monster to Chelsea.

Neil Bruce has some of his hot MM art on his Flickr page.

Eric Leven on Pinkberry. Him, funny; them, maybe not so good for you.

Should I get a Shenis and get involved in a pissing contest with my friends?

Study shows that Mac users have a superiority complex. I have a PC.

I stole this photo from Ruff.

Join us this Wednesday April 23 as the TES Bondage Group presents”Mummification Bondage” with Master Tip.

Learn about Saran Wrap, Vetrap, and other mummification bondages, with variations that include duct tape, PVC tape, and colored wraps. Master Tip is a member of Iron Guard and GMSMA and is well known for his classes and impressive demos on Mummification.

Doors open at 7:30pm, meeting starts at 8pm.
260 W 36th Street, 3rd floor, between 7th and 8th Avenues.
$4 for members of TES and other SM/Leather groups; $8 for non-members

We’re walking up Ludlow Street and get to Rivington. This is easily the most tempting intersection in NYC. Turn left and there’s Babeland. Turn right and there’s Economy Candy. Sex. Candy. Candy. Sex. Sex. Candy. Candy. Sex.

We continue north. We have doughnuts. Amazing doughnuts.

HoneyB, “Nick” and me

Last night I met up with Viviane and Ace for some Chinese food and then on to Rachel Kramer Bussel’s In The Flesh reading. We sat together with Tess, Diva, Selina, Twanna and Suzanne.

Rachel really organizes a great evening with a bunch of sexy readers and she makes sure there’s lots of snacks! The last reader was HoneyB reading from her new book, Sexcapades.

When she was finished, there was a pop quiz and the first person to be able to name all four characters in her story would win a copy HoneyB’s book as well as “Nick,” the big chocolate silicone dildo. I won!

We were in Williamsburg to see The Dreamscape Project.

It’s Midnight on Friday. Boymeat and I are looking for a parking spot in Williamsburg. My cell phone rings.

“Who’s calling me at this hour?”

I check and it’s Ruby. I answer. We say our hellos and howareyous and then Ruby gets to the point.

“Well, I need some advice and thought I should call Lolita!”
“I am always here to advise you, honey.”
“I am beating this boy but I can’t get him to bleed!”
“If you want blood, cut him. With a knife.”

She repeats my words slowly and distinctly. I know she’s got some poor hapless guy captive in her apartment. She pauses to consider and I know the timing is for his benefit.

“Lolita, that’s just so straightforward. That’s why I like your advice.”
“Glad to be of service.”
“So, hmmm… a kitchen knife would work?”
“Any knife. Something sharp.”

“I could do that, but I did tell him that I would beat him until he was bloody. I’ve been beating him with a cane and am just not getting blood. Using a knife seems like cheating. How can I beat him bloody?”
“Make little shallow cuts to just prime his skin, and then beat him. You’ll have blood.”
“Okay! I’ll try that. Thanks! Bye!”

It’s like I’m on call as her torture consultant. Consensual torture, of course.