Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

We were in Williamsburg to see The Dreamscape Project.

It’s Midnight on Friday. Boymeat and I are looking for a parking spot in Williamsburg. My cell phone rings.

“Who’s calling me at this hour?”

I check and it’s Ruby. I answer. We say our hellos and howareyous and then Ruby gets to the point.

“Well, I need some advice and thought I should call Lolita!”
“I am always here to advise you, honey.”
“I am beating this boy but I can’t get him to bleed!”
“If you want blood, cut him. With a knife.”

She repeats my words slowly and distinctly. I know she’s got some poor hapless guy captive in her apartment. She pauses to consider and I know the timing is for his benefit.

“Lolita, that’s just so straightforward. That’s why I like your advice.”
“Glad to be of service.”
“So, hmmm… a kitchen knife would work?”
“Any knife. Something sharp.”

“I could do that, but I did tell him that I would beat him until he was bloody. I’ve been beating him with a cane and am just not getting blood. Using a knife seems like cheating. How can I beat him bloody?”
“Make little shallow cuts to just prime his skin, and then beat him. You’ll have blood.”
“Okay! I’ll try that. Thanks! Bye!”

It’s like I’m on call as her torture consultant. Consensual torture, of course.