Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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A Glance at Prehistoric Leather

September 24th, 2012 · 1 Comment

Today we bring you a rare sighting of the Domasaurus [domuh-sawr-us]. Do not confuse him with the Domosaurus [doh-moh-sawr-us] that he holds in his hand.

Domasaurus claims to be Very Very Very Old Guard.  He complained to us that the Leather Community was ruined as soon as the mammals started showing up.

When asked for further comment, he replied, “RAWR!!!”

→ 1 CommentTags: BDSM

e[lust] 40

September 24th, 2012 · No Comments

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #41? Start with the newly updated rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! I’d like to also direct your attention to a new Editor’s Letter that’s up. 

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

The Bitch is Back – The temperature at the table drops several degrees. “Like that?,” I say.  ”Is that what you want?”

On Women Who Like Sex – I like sex as much as any man I know. I am not a weirdo, I am not a slut, and I am not in any excessive danger.

Secret Secretary– There she was in the reception room on my couch, lying on her back, legs spread, skirt hiked up over her torso, her hands frantically feeling between her legs. 

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Street Harassment: It’s everywhere, all the time

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Thoughts: Regarding Limits In BDSM

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Begin rant
Communication Breakdown
Family Planning
Great Expectation
My Fantasy
Rituals, Symbolism, Kink, and of course ME

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

How You Know You Are On The Rag

Kink & Fetish

Anal Slut
Flogger Use and Safety from a Beginner
Janet’s Magical Toybag
Protest Much?
Property of Seven
Playing With Fire
Tonight I am going to fuck your (slave) ass
The Long-Anticipated Gangbang Post
Welcome To The Club

Erotic Writing

Almost Broken
A Bad Habit
A Sinner Sits for Sacred Sunday Service
BBQ & Beer
Birthday Sex
Cap D’Agde -spit roast with a stranger
Dirty Talk
Lolita Twenty-Twelve, Part Five
Oral at a Sex Party
once in a while
Random memories: First love
Saturday Morning Pussy
Stress Reliever – Lubed Fingers
The shopping assistant
The Sting of the Crop

Chanel Preston, James Deen, Beretta James on

→ No CommentsTags: e[lust]

Janet’s Magical Toybag

September 4th, 2012 · 1 Comment

I’ve known Janet since the early 1990’s. We go to a lot of the same events and hang out with some of the same people. But it’s only in the last year or so that we have begun playing with each other. She’s a bit of a masochist, who always shows up with her own toys ready to play.

One thing I often talk about when I teach is that I believe an experienced bottom should have their own toybag. They can pack the toys that they prefer and that work best for them. Their own hood or straitjacket is the perfect size for them. That one certain blindfold fits the bridge of their nose just right and it is only their own tears that have ever stained it. Or maybe a flogger or paddle that has just the right sting or thud for them. And they may feel comfortable knowing that their dildo or vibrator has been cleaned exactly in the way that makes them feel safe.

This has advantages for the top as well. Tops then have the opportunity to play with different toys. It’s a new challenge and is never boring. Besides why should tops always have to schlep the toys? Why should tops always have to buy the toys? And why should tops always have to clean the toys? Bottoms can take some of these responsibilities, too. I always appreciate it when a bottom comes with his or her own toys.

Janet is just one of those bottoms. She always has her toys with her. And she always gets good play with people who are willing to use her toys. She explained to me that she bottoms only with her own toys. Some tops have a problem with that. It’s never a problem to me.

So, we met up in the dungeon, Janet had her bag of toys with her and we looked for a spot to play. She picked a cross that also worked for me and began to open her bag. I could not help noticing her bag. It was one of those hobo sling bags – green canvas with a very long leather wrapped handle. It was fascinating to me. Janet started bringing toys out of the bag. “Here’s my three foot single tail and a tomkat and some canes and…”

I interrupted, “I really like your bag.”

“Thanks, I really like it, too.” She continued pulling her toys out, “and this leather slapper…”

“Just empty the bag and get up against the cross,” I told her gruffly. She noticed the change in my voice and got into position immediately. She liked my take-charge dominant tone.

I looked at all the toys, but I picked up the bag. I folded it and choked up on the handle in a way that I could beat her with the fabric. I began lightly as a warm-up. She looked back, not knowing what toy I was using. “You’re using my bag!”

“Well, for now. This is just warm-up. I want to use the handle too,”

“That handle has always intrigued me. It’s why I bought the bag” she admitted.

I was happy that we were on the same page and continued beating her with the bag, trying a bunch of methods and working my way up to fully using the handle. We had a lot of fun.

→ 1 CommentTags: BDSM · Scene Report

Rope Camp Discount

August 18th, 2012 · No Comments

This September 26-30, I’ll be teaching at Rope Camp, a really great outdoor event held in Northern Maryland. I’ve been offered a $50 discount on the full event price or a $35 discount off the weekend for all my friends. To take advantage of this amazing deal all you have to do is enter this promotional code LWBIGHTER when you register at Rope Camp.  I can’t wait to see you all there! It’s going to be fun! Plus we’ll learn a lot.

→ No CommentsTags: Bondage · events

Leather Night on Long Island with Mollena

August 18th, 2012 · 1 Comment

→ 1 CommentTags: Uncategorized

e[lust] #39

August 18th, 2012 · 1 Comment

Welcome to e[lust] – The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #40? Start with the newly updated rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Never Pinch a Sadist: 50 Shades of Plaid – If you don’t know kink, don’t feel pressured into it.  If you wonder what it is about, join Fetlife  and find local event to teach you about it.

Collars & closure & owning myself – there is triumph in realizing that your paths are diverging, repacking your shit, and moving on with dignity and respect.

The Quarry – We agreed to meet up on the weekend and go out to the quarry. It was an old, flooded quarry. I didn’t know it, but the queers had taken it over.

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

The Pussy Pride Project

~ e[lust] Editress ~

“I can’t orgasm without a vibrator” So What? – Embrace it. Bring it in to your partnered sex life. Be happy that you can achieve orgasm whatever way that works for you.

Erotic Writing

A Guest for Dinner
A Beautiful Need
A Purring Machine
A Hard Man is Good to Find
Chlorine Kisses
In a different world
I Crave You!
Lolita Twenty-Twelve, Part Four
Mojo Back
My 69th Orgasm
Owned Part 4
Sensual room service
Tease Me
The Space Between
The Text
The Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet
The Desk of Power
Use Me
What I’m thinking about when I’m…
When Frederick Met Camille

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Living with an Alpha Sub
Make Her Cum
Swinging and safe sex
Talking with the Lights Off
The Promiscuous Bisexual
Why Do I Have More Respect For Men Than MRAs?
What not to do for anal sex
Wants, Needs & Poly
Wifi Sex?

Kink & Fetish

A Boot Scene
Consent as Torture
Mores and Behavior
Pursuit of Squirting
Playing With Lightning
Submissive men: A celebration of beauty
strapping on…my first time
Submission for a Femdom Facesitting Film
rethinking warmup

James Deen and Holly Michaels on

→ 1 CommentTags: e[lust]

Weegee Show

August 7th, 2012 · No Comments

I went to the Weegee show at International Center for Photography. Weegee aka Arthur Fellig was a NYC photojournalist, who in the late 1930’s/early 1940’s listened to the police radio and rushed to the scenes of crimes, often getting there before the police themselves.  In addition to photographing dead and bloodied bodies, he would also take pictures of the crowd’s reactions. His work was very sensational and groundbreaking.

I was particularly fascinated by a series of photos of cross-dressed men who were arrested. Back in those days it was illegal for a man to wear women’s clothing. It’s amazing how far we’ve come now.

The show is up through September 2nd. Check it out.


→ No CommentsTags: Art & Culture · NYC

Consent as Torture

July 31st, 2012 · 4 Comments

Months before the event, GlitterGrrl wrote to me, “Are you coming? Want to play with me?”

“Of course!” I answered and we agreed to a Saturday night playdate. Nothing more was said at the time. It was understood that we had both just made the commitment that something would happen and that it would be on Saturday night at the event. We had played before. Maybe a half dozen times over the last five years or so. We probably would have played more if not for the geographical distance between us.

She showed up on Saturday and we sat together for the evening entertainment. Play would happen afterward. Our negotiation was quick and dirty. We agreed to rope bondage, spanking and sex, These were all activities that we had done together before. I felt confident that we would have a good time.

GlitterGrrl is really pretty. Not like fashion model pretty, but like the girl next door who has freckles and goes to Burning Man and always wears glitter kind of pretty. And she’s smart and powerful and she knows how to move through the world and get what she wants.

So, we went to the dungeon and found a spot to play. I picked one of the overhead beams and began to tie her. Often when I tie, I am really chatty, but the act of tying eventually calms me down and gets me into the right headspace for a scene And that is exactly how it was this time. We talked and caught up as the ropes went on. As the bondage progressed, I became quiet and she seemed to get in the right headspace as well.

She was in what would technically be called a partial suspension – off balance with one foot on the ground. She looked good. I nuzzled her and she smelled really good to me. So, I bit her. Not hard, just lightly and playfully. I could tell she liked it, so I bit her again. Her reactions were positive. So, I really went to town with the biting. I sunk my teeth into various parts of her body. I sucked, I licked, I blew and kept on biting. I could just tell she loved it.

And then I stopped. I backed away and looked at her. She was beautiful as she leaned into the rope. She would not have been able to stand without them. She looked at me with her big brown glazed eyes, hungry for more. “Oh my god, we never negotiated biting,” I told her.

“It’s okay. I really like it.”

“No, we can’t do biting.”

At first she was speechless. I could see the emotions roll over her. She went from confused to what the fuck. So I explained,“Well, we had negotiated bondage, spanking and sex. I don’t know what came over me. I just wanted to bite you and it felt so good and it felt so right, but then I realized that you never consented to biting.”

She got all agitated, “I consent! I consent! You can bite me!’

“Oh, no, you’re all high and not really thinking.”

“Yes, I am thinking. Yes, I do want it.”

“No. I don’t want to become a thread on some Fetlife discussion after the scene.”

“You won’t see it on Fetlife or anywhere. I will not regret it afterward. Really, I want you to bite me,” she pleaded.

This was really hot for me. I had discovered a new way to play with consent. I could torture someone with it.

I gleefully told her, “No,” and then I shoved my gloved fingers into her wet cunt.

→ 4 CommentsTags: BDSM · Scene Report

Huge Wood Penetrates Oink

July 3rd, 2012 · No Comments

Dark Odyssey Fusion 2012 will be forever known as the time our cabin got fucked by a tree. I had always loved how our cabin was shaded by these big trees. Oy!

The first 48 hours of camp were really stellar and then the tornado threw us all into a major tizzy.  It was quite an emotional whirlwind for everybody. Boymeat writes about it very eloquently on LiveJournal and FetLife.

On Saturday, I watched as gigantic cranes cleared away the tree. By the afternoon, we were allowed back into the cabin.

Saturday evening I was determined to try to make everything normal again. I became Poupon Toot and participated in the Jimmy Hat Circus. Afterwards, while we did get electricity restored, we did not have water and I had to go across camp to shower.

It really wasn’t until Sunday that I got my Oink groove back. And boy, was I happy to be back on the porch hanging with my peeps and playing again.

And here is a link to a cool story (The Big Dodge) so you can understand the camaraderie we have around Oink!

→ No CommentsTags: Event Reviews · Relationships

We’re All Water

June 21st, 2012 · No Comments

I love NYC water and I love NYC’s new program, Water On The Go.

→ No CommentsTags: NYC