Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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April 4th, 2003 · No Comments


April 2, 2003 Volume 9, Number 14

© Copyright 2003 by Lolita Wolf.

Material may not be reproduced in whole or in part

without prior written consent of the copyright holder.

The views expressed herein are exclusively those of the

author and do not represent the views of any other person

or any organization with which the author may be





“Listen: nothing will save you if you go sailing on the

sea of love. It’s caulked with countless wrecks; their

cargoes so much flotsam.”

– G. F. Daumer




This week has not been “Life with Slaveboy” because

we are in between contracts and Neptune is on slave

vacation. This should really be titled “Life with

Roommate.” Slave vacation means that Neptune has

the privileges of a free man. He has his own pillow no

matter what. As an added touch, I put a piece of

chocolate on it every night – just like a real vacation.

The combination of slave vacation and spring cleaning

is totally rocking my world. This week’s project is the

bedroom. He had warned me to rescue what I needed

for the next week and now all bets are off. He goes

to work on the room. Neither of us can stand me in

there helping/hindering him. I go out to run errands. I

make lunch. I make candles. I work on my computer.

I hear him yell, “Feng shui!!?!! I’ll show you Feng Shui!!”

Perhaps this in response to the Haiku I had written a

while back:

Slaveboy cleans my home

Tidies up my precise mess –

Fucks up my feng shui.

Some people think that slave vacation is a nutty

concept but I believe only a free person can negotiate

and sign themselves into a slave contract. It is also a

not so gentle reminder of how obedient he is on a day

to day basis. It’s so easy to get accustomed to this

and not think about it. The next contract we sign will

be for three years, however we both think that a week’s

slave vacation every April may be a good thing.




On Wednesday, I attended TES in its new space at 75

Bleecker Street, under VG’s restaurant. I really liked the

new space. It felt very warm and welcoming and the set

up is very conducive for our meetings. I think TES can

be very happy there.

The topic for the meeting was Single Tails. After an

intimate demo, Joe Wheeler talked to us about whips

and took questions. Joe is one of the best braided whip

makers out there. I have had a 20 plait of his since

1995 and it was my favorite whip. Unfortunately, while

Joe was scarce for a while a few years back, I had

someone else replace the cracker on the whip and

they just butchered it. It never threw the same again.

I had brought it back to Joe at BR and he said he would

try to fix it or else he would make me a new one.

Well, on Wednesday night, I got a brand new 24 plait

Wheeler signal whip. It’s a big fat beauty. I am very

thrilled. Now I have to take the time to break it in….

Thank you, Joe!




By AJ Stalkerboy

I am retail boy, which basically means I don’t get out

too much as I work weekends. I had Sunday off and I had

been seeing announcements for the OW party on several

lists that I am on so I figured I would go. As it happens

I woke up Sunday to snow and decided not to go. (And

I call myself a native Chicagoan.) Glenda talked me into

it. The ride up was a little rough but I am so glad that I

went. Glenda is a lot of fun to travel with and the Ornery

Women really know how to throw a good party.

The play space the OW had was really nice. They had

steel cages, suspension rigs and some basic equipment

made out of not so typical materials. There was a neat

cross-made out of steel (?) and Plexiglas (?). They had

really good finger foods, lots of salt and sugar. Most of

my favorites. The most protein on the table was in the

Reese’s peanut butter cups. There were two bootblacks

and JP did a great job fixing a giant gash on my left boot.

I would have to say that the play space itself was

impressive, but even more impressive were the hosts and

volunteers. Everyone was very nice and very helpful. I am

not from Philly so I did not know a lot of people there. I

cannot tell you how many people went out of their way

to introduce themselves, show me around, introduce me

to others. I know it’s hard to believe, but I am very shy,

so thanks to all those who made me feel so welcome.

One of the added bonuses was that Red was doing a

flogging demo/class. I was very interested in this as I am

(or I should say was) a horrible flogger. I don’t Top much.

Well actually I don’t Top at all. When I first came out I

tried to switch but basically when it was my turn to Top

I just ordered the other person to spank me. One of my

shortcomings as a “Top” was that I couldn’t flog. I could

spank, paddle, slap faces, pull hair And even throw a

pretty decent single-tail, but flogging was impossible for


A bunch of us piled into the food area where Red gave

a talk on techniques, choosing a flogger, etc.. Felice

also had a lot of great insight. Then we all went into

the dungeon where Felice preformed a very brave act;

she let us experiment on her back.

This is what I learned. Red is a very good teacher. It is

hard for me to copy what I see without verbal interaction.

Red was able to use just enough words and verbal cues

to not overwhelm me. After some distance, timing and

confidence adjustments I really got into it. I really got

into it. I was able to find a place of peaceful

concentration and hyper focus that usually escapes

me (ADHD boy). This place was broken only when I

realized that yes I was in fact flogging someone and no

I wasn’t going to commit serious acts of injury.

So Red and Felice tell me that I am a pretty good

flogger. I am honored and grateful for the compliment.

But what does that mean to a bottom that normally does

not Top? It felt good to flog Felice. I was very into it and

yes there was a part of me that wanted to hurt her. While

my instincts to hurt were firing away in the background,

my conscious was very diligent about reminding me that

I am 1) new to flogging and 2) that this was not a

negotiated scene. But it was there, I could feel bursts of

adrenalin race even as my thoughts became slower and

my though process became more methodical.

So the questions remain, do I want to be a Top? Do I

want someone to adore me the way I adore my Tops,

clean my house, perform other acts of service and let

me hurt them? Sure, why not? It all sounds so good.

But here is where the truth lies for me. I do not think

that I could truly be happy if I identified as a Top. I also

do not identify with being a switch. I find true happiness

when I bottom to the will or whip of another. I love

performing acts of service, and I love being appreciated.

I live for the rub on the head and the words thank you or

good boy.

Will I continue to flog? Yes, if I can find people who are

willing to let me hurt them and if the situation/time is

right, I will accept opportunities to be the person “doing

the hitting”. I will not call myself a Top or a switch, nor

will I call the actions of hitting/hurting Topping. I will call

these occasions, acts of service.

So for now, I guess a life as Daddy AJ is not in the

picture for me.

** Thanks to AJ for this write-up. ****




The latest issue of the National Coalition for Sexual

Freedom newsletter, ‘NCSF Notes,’ is hot off the press!

Part of NCSF’s renewed efforts to keep supporters

up-to-date on the organization, the newsletter provides a

quarterly overview of NCSF activities and projects in

support of the SM-leather-fetish, swing and polyamory


Of particular interest in this edition of ‘NCSF Notes’ is

the 2002 Incident Response Report, a detailed overview

of the types and volume of assistance NCSF was called

upon to provide in the previous year – from organizations

battling religious extremist attacks against their events

to individuals embroiled in divorce and custody battles.

To view and download a copy of ‘NCSF Notes’ go to:




The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) is

raffling off a trip for 2 to the 25th Anniversary of

International Mr. Leather (IML) weekend. The prize

includes 2 weekend packages, three nights’

accommodations at the sold out Palmer House Hilton,

and two round-trip plane tickets within the Continental

United States. The drawing will be during ABW on

Sunday, April 27. Raffle tickets are $5 each or 5 for

$20. You can PayPal $$ to me at

and I can mail you the tickets or make a check out

to NCSF and mail to: NCSF, 822 Guilford Ave. #127,

Baltimore, MD 21202-3707 no later than April 20.




The 20th annual Leather Pride Night Auction will take

place on Saturday, June 14th, 2003. Doors open at

7:30 PM. Auction and festivities continue until 12:00

Midnight at The Puck Building, 295 Lafayette Street

(at Houston Street, one block east of Broadway).

This space is wheelchair accessible.

Jo Arnone, LPN’s veteran auctioneer, will preside over

hundreds of items being auctioned, including leather and

latex fetish clothing, unique toys and equipment, art and

Broadway theater tickets, and much more. Leather Pride

Night is sponsored by twelve NYC s/m-leather-fetish

organizations: DefendersNY, Gay Male S/M Activists,

Imperial Court of NY, Iron Guard BC, Lesbian Sex Mafia,

MetrobearsNY, NY Panthers LC, NY Renegades,

Pariah’s MC, Promethean Guard, Society Nocturnus of

Gotham, and The Eulenspiegel Society and many

committed individuals.

In 2002, Leather Pride Night donated $15,100 to five

local and national charities. This year, Leather Pride

Night will donate the 2003 Auction proceeds to: the

Heritage of Pride (HOP), the NYC AIDS Monument

Committee, the Pride Center of New Jersey, the

Foundation for Research on Sexually Transmitted

Disease (FROST’D), Teens Prepared for Life (TPL)

and the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence

Project (AVP).

Tickets for Leather Pride Night are $15 in advance, and

$20 at the door. Paypal payment is available at the LPN

website Tickets can also be

obtained at any of the sponsoring organizations, as

well as the following supporting commercial venues:

David Samuel Menkes Custom Leatherwear, Purple

Passion / DV8, London, Paddles, The Leather Man,

The Noose, Submit, El Mirage, Le Chateau Exotique

and Toys in Babeland.

Leather Pride Night is part of a month of fabulous leather

and fetish oriented events in New York City. On June 14,

after the Leather Pride Night festivities, TES will hold its

Annual Leather Pride Night Party at Paddles, 250 W 26

St 12am – 5am. Discounted entry to LPN ticket stub

holders and members of other SM/Leather organization.

This is their biggest play party of the year. Also that

night, The Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) is hosting an all

woman BDSM Play Party, following LPN, Midnight

to 4 AM.

On Sunday June 15, 2003, The Lesbian Sex Mafia is

hosting a Leather Community Event from 2 PM until

11 PM, which will include a meet and greet, play areas

and demos. For more information and location: or call 212-726-3844. On

Sunday, June 22nd, GMSMA presents the FOLSOM

STREET EAST VII, an s/m-leather-fetish block party on

West 13th Street. Over 10, 000 leather men and women

cap off Leather Pride Weekend with the largest outdoor

festival of its kind on the East Coast.

The Leather Pride Night Committee is dedicated to

promoting freedom of sexual self-expression, and actively

works to improve the image and understanding of S/m

and fetish lifestyles. The Leather Pride Night

Committee meets on the first Thursday of the month

at 8:00PM at the LGBT Center, 208 West 13th Street.

There is no photography allowed at the event.

Photography inquiries can be directed to Darrell Perry

at Info:




Q. I am going to LLC. What is the schedule for

Friday? Opening session? Registration?

A. Registration is open 3-9pm. Opening Ceremonies

are at 7pm. More info is at




Thanks to my sponsors!

924-215Y Dr. Vittoria Repetto, 285 West B’way #530,

NYC 10013, 212-431-3724, Dedicated to providing

my patients with the holistic therapies and personalized

education they need to regain and maintain their optimal

health. I respect all consensual choices. One of the

Top Ten NYC Chiropractors: New Life Magazine, Sept


925-218Y Purple Passion / DV8, we have one of the

largest selections of corsets, leather, latex & PVC

clothing for men and women. We do custom corsets,

clothing and harnesses. Our current featured artists

are Ira Smith and Coyote. Hours: Wed Noon-7pm,

Thurs & Fri Noon-9pm, Sat Noon-8pm Sun Noon-7pm.

Mon & Tues Noon-7pm. 211 West 20th Street. Tel



hour instructional video is now available. Learn basic &

advanced throws. Learn how to practice. Learn how to

use a signal whip on someone from light & sensual to

heavy & intense. Includes four actual scenes. Only

$35.00 + shipping & handling.

924-257T Touch your submissive with the power of

thought. Now you can own a radio controlled TENS

like E-Toy for only $75. The Wired Dom/Domme

(TWD-1) is available from Uncle Abdul…….. The

man who wrote THE book on E-Play (“JUICE”). Visit

http://www.Uncle now for more info and

important sense saving safety tips on violet wand use.

919-258BB Fetish and/or Pantyhose Models wanted for

website, (females & transsexuals only). No experience

necessary, however, must be comfortable posing in

bondage shots,and also some with Mistress Spikes. If

you are a size 10 or under and want to earn $50.00 an

hour, then call me at: 631-754-4963, or email: Long Island location.

If you are within the boroughs, I will reimburse L.I.

railroad fee. Website:


Counseling; 20 yrs. of caring for L/G/B/T, BDSM & Poly

communities. Offices in Highland Park, Freehold and

Jersey City, NJ. 24 therapists on staff. Dr. Margaret

Nichols, Director. Call (800) 379-9220/

932-262H Ms Mir, Certified Massage Therapist –

Spiritual Hands, “Synchronize Your Body With Your

Soul.” Serene and private, a revitalize touch of Swedish,

Foot Reflexology, Hot Stone Massage, Deep Tissue –

Neuromuscular & Japanese Anma Massage. Gift

certificates available & home visits if necessary.

Appointment only – weekend & evenings available.

Teaneck, NJ (5) minutes from the George Wash.

Bridge. 201 280-1976 or

Brochure available upon request w/ introductory offer.

914-262AA Private Play Party Hosted by Sir Barry.

When: Saturday April 5th 10pm-3am. Where: Arena

Blaze Dungeon 12 East 32nd St. 7th Fl. Cost:

Couples: $50, Single Men: $40, Single Women $15.

Complimentary beverages and snacks, Dom/Domme

& Slave Auction at midnight. For more info please write

to Sir Barry at or call

(718) 937-1836

953-263Z Active NYC scene participant is in search of

new living quarters in Manhattan or Brooklyn with easy

access to downtown Manhattan. 26, bi-male, fully

employed and responsible looking for an apartment either

alone or with kink-friendly roommate(s) for $600/mo.

Please e-mail if you think you

can help! Thank you!


ENTRY: Darrell’s Dungeon Play Parties, Leathersex and

Military Play Parties for Men of Color, Their Friends

Lovers and Admirers, is proud to announce that we

have moved downtown. (Men Only) Our next party:

Saturday, APRIL 12, 2003. Door open 8PM til 12Midnight.

Entry is $20 plus one dollar for coatcheck. For more

information: Please call 212 330 7691 or email

915-265F “Woodhull Wicked Weekend” is Mistress Mir’s

benefit for the Woodhull Freedom Foundation Sat & Sun

April 12-13 at The Crucible, Washington, DC. Sat night:

“Revenge of the Submissives” auction and more.

Standard Crucible admission prices. Sunday: gourmet

brunch 2-7pm with “Mistress Mir’s Early Years” slide show,

Fantasy vignettes, “red tape” bondage contest, open play

and more. $30 pp, $50 per couple. RSVP: or 202-466-2900. Info:

Your ad could be here! Email me if you are interested.




Thursday 4.3 NYC

SUBMIT Women and Trannie SM and Sex Party with

an “April Showers” theme and demo. 9pm-2am (doors

close at 1am) at Studio 253, 253 E. Houston St,

between Aves A & B. $15. Info: or 718.789.4053

Friday 4.4 NYC

DomSubFriends Meeting: ” Spanking as American as

Apple Pie!” with Spanktotears AKA Michael of Paddles.

How to give a proper spanking, from the warm up to tears.

The psychology of the spanker and spankee. Why do

people enjoy spanking or getting spanked? Why is

spanking one of the most desired SM activities? 8pm

at Paddles, 250 W 26 St between 7 & 8th Aves. $8

($4 for members of DSF & affiliate members). Info:

Friday 4.4 NYC

NYC Rubber Men social. 11pm-2am at The LURE, 409

W 13 St, just west of 9 Ave. Dress in rubber to get in

free. Info:

Friday thru Sunday 4.4-6 Poconos, PA


Friday thru Sunday 4.4-6 Oklahoma City, OK

Tribal Fire. Info:

Friday thru Sunday 4.4-6

Beat Me In St Louis – SOLD OUT!


Saturday 4.5 NYC

GMSMA Dungeon Demo. The last Demo of the season

features GMSMA’s finest demonstrating some of the

hottest s/m you’ll see anywhere. 7-10pm at the LURE,

409 W 13 St, just west of 9 Ave. $20 ($15 for members).


Sunday 4.6 NYC

MAsT: Metro New York Meeting: “The Principle of

Humility.” *Discussionbased upon Guy Baldwin’s book

Slavecraft. 2-5pm at the LGBT Center, 208 W 13 St, just

west of 7 Ave. Open to all genders and orientations in

the Master-Mistress/slave or Owner/property lifestyles.

Info: or

Sunday 4.6 NYC

Bi S/M Discussion Group meets 5:30pm The LGBT

Center, 208 W 13th St.

Sunday 4.6 NYC

The Baroness’ Fetish Retinue party: photographer

Steven Speliotis will demonstrate techniques and show

slides from his latest book, “Asian Bondage .“

8pm-2am at the Alphabet Lounge, corner of Ave C &

7 St. $15, $5 in Fetish, Free if you are fabulously

dreessed. Info: 212 529 5964


This Monday and every Monday Cyberspace

Back by popular demand (maybe not so popular but

surely demanding…): The Eulenspiegel Not Til chat room

on AOL 10pm-Midnight. NOT a TES event but an unofficial

place online where many TES members and friends

hang out and talk. No set topic. It is a good place to

ask questions, debate the answers, ask and receive

advice, compare notes about the scene, gossip about

last week, plan the upcoming week, flirt a little, be

serious and not so serious. On AOL in the Town Square

area of the People Connection in a “member room” –

not private: aol://2719:61-2-Eulenspiegel not til. Add this

location to your Favorite Places Folder so that it’s easy

to come back.

Tuesday 4.8 NYC

TES presents “Polyamory, Is It All That It Is Cracked Up

To Be” with Catelynn, Jason, and PeteMosq. Everyone

in the Scene talks about it, and some people are even able

to do it well. Polyamory??? When it works, it can work

well, but when it doesn’t… oh well. The panel discusses

the good, the bad, and the ugly issues. 7:30pm at 75

Bleecker St, just east of Broadway. $8 ($4 for members

of TES and other SM/leather orgs).

Info: 212-388-7022 or

Wednesday 4.9 NYC

TES Novice Group presents ” Basic Skills Part 2 –

Caning, Knives, Mummification and Hot Wax.” Former

Novice Group facilitator, Lady Red and her sissy maid

Stephanie show you fun things to wrap with plastic,

besides a bologna sandwich, and the basics of wax play.

Cane maker, NyghtOwl will join them in giving you an

overview of how to choose, play safely and care for

canes. He will also demonstrate knife play basics

including scraping off that darn candle wax. 7:30pm at

75 Bleecker St, just east of Broadway. $8 ($4 for

members of TES and other SM/leather orgs). Info:

212-388-7022 or

Wednesday 4.9 NYC

Last Night at The LURE, 409 W 13 St, just west of 9 Ave.




Hair color and pain related?

Don’t do this in public:

Poopin’ & Tootin’

Oh, and a spanking blogger:

Have fun! Play safe!

Lolita Wolf

Lolita speaking only for Lolita, of course!

Tags: P+P Newsletter

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