Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

Years ago (maybe it was in 1999), I spent a few days visiting with one of my favorite couples down in Maryland Dungeon Country. The Phoenix Society had just lost their new clubhouse in Baltimore, so my couple stepped up and hosted The Phoenix Society party at their home. Of course, I was there even though I was not a member.

I struck up a conversation with a woman who was submissive to a Master who had another submissive. The woman told me she was the beta slave to this Master and his alpha slave. I told her that I was visiting my couple. She instantly felt a sort of camaraderie with me, because I was also a “third.” She felt that she could confide in me. So she asked, “Where do you go to feel safe?’

I was really surprised by this question. But I answered rather quickly, “Here. I feel really safe here.”

She pressed on, “But, you know, really safe, emotionally safe?”

“This is it. There is nowhere else that I feel more safe than here. There are other places where I feel safe besides here, but right now I am here and feel totally safe and happy.”

I didn’t spend much more time talking to that woman, but the conversation stuck with me. And it has stuck with me all this time. And I have analyzed it. I do not feel that I have to be the primary partner or the person who is the primary interest. I feel secure being secondary. I don’t feel that I have to compete. Secondary does not mean “less than.” In fact, in the case of this particular couple, I feel special. They make me feel like I am a princess and that my visits are a special treat for them.

There is nothing more safe than being with people who make me feel included and wanted. It’s why I also love being a part of my leather family. I want to be in the circle; sometimes in the middle of it, but also spend time on the periphery. To be supported and to be able to support.

And writing this reminds me about how much I miss my couple in Maryland Dungeon Country.

Men’s Health has an article on how to last longer during sex. And the article pissed me off. Sex is not just thrusting a dick in a vagina until the dick spurts. Is that all there is? It’s certainly not good sex (for me). Try using your fingers and your mouth. Or a toy like the njoy Fun Wand. I’m really liking that right now. Or how about a spanking? Or some bondage?

Violet Blue writes about Jay Leno’s “show me your gayest look” incident. She mentions a study that says that homophobia is associated with homosexual arousal. All that aggression is really probably denial.

Starting Wednesday, April 9th Paddles will be open on Wednesdays from 8pm to 1am for play. Wanna play?

How cute! Delano ties up Monk in this instructional video on a spreader bar tie.

Here’s another thing that pisses me off. US House Rep Jane Harman writes an Op-Ed in the LA Times, “…doctors told me that 41% of female veterans seen at the clinic say they were victims of sexual assault while in the military, and 29% report being raped during their military service.” And it’s being done by their fellow American soldiers. And too many of them are getting away with it.

I am looking forward to seeing The New York City Waterfalls in July.

I don’t usually need an excuse to feel a guy’s balls, but just in case…

There’s a new sex blogger! The Anal Adventures of the Millionaire

The TES Fest website is up and it’s got an RSS feed. Registration will open soon.

Purple Passion is having a huge sale for the entire month of April. The store is being renovated in May so they need to clear things out. 20% to 50% off everything, including books, magazines, clothing, corsets toys, Vanson Jackets, Wesco boots and more. 50% off all DVD’s. $2- for any VHS movie. $2 to $4- bins for old and many out of print magazines.. No holds, layaways or other discounts apply. For in store sales only. 211 West 20th St, NYC. 212.807.0486

Isis Love on fuckingmachines.com

April 11 – NYC
DSF: teaching “How To Be a Greedy Pig – Strategies for Poly Success”

May 1-5 – San Francisco, IL
International Ms Leather Weekend: teaching “The Erotic Impact of Spanking” and “The Greedy Pig Battles The Green-Eyed Monster” plus running The Celebrity Auction

May 17 – NYC
TES: teaching “The Erotic Impact of Spanking”

June 21 – NYC
Leather Pride Night: coordinating volunteers!

June 25-30 – Maryland
Leather Retreat: teaching TBA

July 4-6 – Piscataway, NJ
TES Fest: teaching TBA

July 25-27 – Denver, CO
Thunder In The Mountains: teaching “Hot Wax to the Max” and“Building Trust”

September 10-15 – Maryland
Dark Odyssey Summer Camp: teaching TBA

Spencer Tunick at The Four Seasons

Kathryn wrote up our Saturday night scene.

My age play class at Frolicon was reviewed.

TES Fest is planning 60 classes, 30 vendors and 24 hours around the clock play. And that’s all I know at this time.

My gayest look has been added here.

Portugal, Flamingo; Bierko, Malkovich.