Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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Don Quixote

October 25th, 2006 · No Comments

Don Quixote and I run into each other at various gatherings and events. He is friends with friends who are friends with friends of mine. Most often one or the other of us is busy and unable to attend. The sightings are merely occasional.

He is so beautiful that I am unable to look at him. I sneak glances. Additionally his manner of dress, although not typically fetish, excites me. I get shy and feel awkward in his presence. I never imagine that my interest could possibly be reciprocated.

We read each other’s LJ’s. One day he posts that he is bored at the office and would like people to post fantasies in his LJ. The posts would be screened for privacy. On a lark, I write a perfect little fantasy. This fantasy was appreciated and he recently admitted to me that he still thinks of it.

I never (well, hardly ever) post these memes myself, but a few months later, at the urging of Boymeat, I post one. DQ responds and lays out various scenarios. His post is open, sincere and plausible. It’s June and I am swamped and don’t respond. But it’s not just that I am busy. I think I was also not ready.

Once again I gotta say Dark Odyssey changed me. Well, no, let me say that Dark Odyssey provided the venue that allowed me to make explorations for change. I went through this transformation without attending any classes or participating in any of the rituals. Funny, nicht?

I think the time spent with both Marcus and Jefferson was profound. They were just being themselves and not actually trying to affect any change in me. I believe that they were the catalysts which gave me the impetus and the courage to seek fuckbuddies.

After camp, I immediately thought of DQ as a potential fuckbuddy and wrote to him with a first draft of what I sought in a fuckbuddy. I told him that I thought he would be a good fuckbuddy. DQ responded enthusiastically and we planned a date for three weeks out. He’s busy like me and has scheduling skills.

I have been spending the three weeks fantasizing about him. The fantasies are more sensual than sexual. I want to look at him, to smell him and to touch his hair, skin, body. I want to feel my body against his. That’s what I need first.

Tags: Relationships · Sex