Hammer passed away on Friday November 23 2007. He had been fighting prostrate cancer, which morphed into bone, liver and lung cancer. I knew him through GMSMA. We had presented together a couple of times. I taught spanking and he taught belts. We developed our presentation together and I learned from him.
He had a style that was very different. He used a collection of stiff belts that he would throw back and forth, starting lightly and slowly and building up. His muscular partner, Warrior, would stand still while Hammer would move around him and work him over. It was really hot to watch.
Hammer was a beautiful person. It’s sad that he’s gone.
Shortly before my sixteenth birthday, my father announced that we would go out to dinner to celebrate the occasion and he said that I could choose the restaurant. I decided that we should go to Chinatown in Manhattan. In those days I was spending most Sundays skating at Wollman Rink in Central Park and then heading down to Chinatown for food. We usually ate at a basement restaurant on Mott Street called Hop Ying, which was very cheap. However, for my birthday I planned on going to Temple Garden which was nearby and much fancier. It was street level and with tableclothes.
My parents had never eaten Chinese food before and my father balked at the idea of going Chinese. I dug my heels in, “It’s my birthday and this is what I want us to do. If we don’t, then let’s not go out at all.” My father and I were both very stubborn, but over the years we did develop a respect for each other and we almost always could negotiate something. He did some research in the New York Magazine (this was before the Zagat Guide and NY Mag had a very extensive restaurant guide) and suggested King Yum in Flushing. I agreed to the compromise.
King Yum was very different from the Chinatown restaurants. It was almost a Disneyfied version of a Chinese restaurant. But my parents were surprised that they enjoyed the food and were impressed at my ability to eat with chopsticks. And I partook in my first Pu-Pu Platter. The outing was a success and the restaurant was added to the family rotation.
Later on, I did get them to go to Temple Garden in Chinatown. When they visited me in college (Syracuse University), we would go to Soo-Lin, a Chinese restaurant similar to King Yum which was owned by a Jewish guy who had two daughters, Susan and Linda – hence the name).
I remember this now, because I just stumbled onto a couple of reviews of King Yum. It’s still there.
She stymied me every time I made an overture. So, I stopped making overtures. That’s okay. I am quite busy without her.
But she emails and texts and calls. She tells me she misses me and we should get together. I always respond but nothing ever gets planned. And that’s fine, because, really, I am busy without her.
I saw her at the party. We were glad to see each other. We hugged and kissed hello and then I got lost in the crowd. I got busy.
It was time to leave and I went into the bedroom to get my jacket. She followed me in. I pushed her down onto the bed. It surprised her, but not much. I fell on top of her and began to kiss her.
She gasped, “That’s exactly what I wanted.” “I know.”
With many Broadway shows dark because of the strike, area restaurants have had a drop in business. To lure you in, some of them are participating in 15% off on lunch and/or dinner. Here’s the list.
Also hurting because of the strike is Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. They usually collect about 3 million dollars in the theaters during the holiday season.
Monday, November 26 Conversio Virium: “Your Secret Map to the World of Kink Ethics as drawn by Praxis Productions, a.k.a. the Corey and Jay show”
Tuesday, November 27 TES: “Body Image Forum” a panel moderated by Sir Guy Wednesday, November 28 Arena Studios: “Play Piercing” workshop w/ Lolita Wolf TES Switchables Group: “Trekkies and Witches and Wenches, Oh My …”
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #107? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.
This Week’s Picks 5 Advanced Deep Throat Techniques “Suck your man’s penis into your throat, and, while it is deep in, start to hum.”
MILF = Men I’d Like to Fuck “He knows my body p e r f e c t l y and knows exactly how to make me squirm with pleasure and always knows the right thing to say.”
Reconciling Desire & Reality (part 2) “The excitement of sharing her, the excitement of my arousal THEORETICALLY should mean a heightening of our own sex life.”
On Friday night I went to the LSM meeting with Glenda Rider teaching “The Joys of Duct Tape.” Glenda is a very fun teacher. She demoed on all sorts of people from the audience. I volunteered and was given an opportunity to select a color of tape. I chose neon green and was put into bondage. All the demoees got a baggie of chocolate chip cookies. Yes, I will demo for cookies!
Afterwards we all went to a new diner on 14th street called Good Stuff. I ordered a cheeseburger and it was pretty good. Not amazing, but I was happy to see a decent alternative to Chelsea Gallery. What was special was that I got to sit and talk with Susan Mernit. Turns out she knows my Momma Bear, too!
On Saturday, I helped transport the LPN Fleamarket to GMSMA Leatherfest in the morning, and then in the evening, I helped transport it back to storage. A lot of schlepping. We had some really great stuff for sale and I do not have the exact number yet, but we took in about $1900. In between dealing with LPN/Leatherfest stuff, I taught a Caning class and was able to work with two great bottoms. GMSMA did something different this year! They changed the time of Leatherfest to run later in the day. It worked really well. Afterwards, I stopped in for a little bit at the NY boys of Leather bar night. I really like those guys!
Sunday I took the bus down to Baltimore. I am not even going to write about what a nightmare the trip down was. Oy! At Play House, I taught rope suspension. I had never taught this topic before and it never occurred to me to attempt to teach it, but Glenda has a way of pushing me to teach new things. I think it went well and there are a few things I would do differently next time. I know! I just said next time! Oy!
Rachel Kramer Bussel hosts In The Flesh every month. It is a monthly reading series featuring different authors each time. I had never been and had always wanted to go. What better excuse did I need then to show up on a night when my pal, Selina Fire, was reading? And to top it all off, that night’s theme was True Confessions.
In The Flesh takes place in a bar called Happy Endings. With this reading series there, that name may actually be a triple entendre. It was comfortable and I sat at a table with a bunch of fellow sex bloggers and other friends. The tables are strewn with cupcakes, candy and blue corn chips – junk food delight. I walked in having only consumed 1300 calories that day – I don’t want to know what my total was when I left. I have no self control sometimes.
In addition to the seven authors reading, Rachel handed out slips of paper so that the audience members could write little anonymous confessions. I wrote something fictional and very raunchy that was read aloud with some others. Of course nothing was as raunchy as Selina’s story. Oh, my!
Here’s Lux Nightmare of Boinkology reading her hot story about play piercing and sex. Yum!
Christmas or “Holiday” music. I don’t really hate this music. I just loathe hearing it in the first week of November. Because then, by the time the December holiday season rolls around, I am so sick of it already. And the decorations! This year they were up before Halloween even! It’s just all too early!
It’s autumn now. I want to enjoy autumn. The changing weather. The leaves turning colors and falling. The harvest. Etcetera.
I believe that Santa heralds the Christmas season when he comes out on his sleigh at the end of Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. I do not want to see him or anything Christmas before then.
KINK-SENSITIVE PSYCHOTHERAPYIPG Counseling; 25 yrs. of caring for the L/G/B/T/Q, BDSM and Poly communities. Offices in Highland Park, Freehold and Jersey City, NJ. 24 therapists on staff. Call (800)379-9220
PURPLE PASSION / DV8
Features one of the largest selections of corsets, leather, latex & PVC clothing for men and women. BDSM books, bondage gear and toys. Store hours: Monday through Saturday, Noon-8pm. 211 W 20 St, NYC. 212-807-0486, Click here for online shopping, workshop & art show schedules.
