Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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Q&A: Humiliation

November 29th, 2008 · 28 Comments

Carmen Blue on

Q. Hello and thank you for sharing your journal with me. I have a friend with a young man who is interested in humiliation. It’s not really my thing so it’s hard to give her ideas/advice – are there any books/websites you would recommend to learn more about this and how to do it effectively.

A. Everybody has a different idea of what is humiliating for them. What is humiliating for one person can be no big deal for another, or it can be terribly abusive for yet another. Many acts depend on context as well. What is no big deal at a BDSM play party might be devasting in front of his vanilla friends. It may be a good idea to establish an emotional safeword. Aftercare may also be very important – if you are going to tear someone apart, it would be imperative to help put them back together again. A good humiliation scene is customized for each person. Your friend needs to talk to her young man and get to know him and what buttons she can push.

Here are a few good websites on the topic:
Franklin Veaux
Bound Lady on #submission

Tags: BDSM

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