Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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July 25th, 2003 · No Comments


July 23, 2003 – Volume 9, Number 28

© Copyright 2003 by Lolita Wolf

Material may not be reproduced in whole or in part

without prior written consent of the copyright holder.

The views expressed herein are exclusively those of

the author and do not represent the views of any

other person or any organization with which the

author may be associated.



“But she does cut a dashing figure in her silver

Spandex action suit. As filled out by the sculptural

beauty of Angelina Jolie, that silver suit seems to lie

at the center of the game’s adolescent appeal: it

idealizes the female form while making it completely

inaccessible, a kind of full-body chastity belt that both

arouses and reassures.”

– Dave Kehr, reviewing Tombraiderer



On Saturday, Peggy aka O and I headed from Ft

Lauderdale to Ft Myers to go to the Ft Myers Munch.

First we went to dinner. This was a bit confusing to

me, because I thought a munch was when you sat

down to a meal in a restaurant and socialized, but

not this munch… OK, we had dinner and I got my

first taste of alligator tail. Yum!

The Munch was held at a nightclub. Admission was

$15 per person and open only to those on a guest

list which listed screen names only. The bar was

very nice and clean with lots of candles and tables

to socialize. Two vendors had spread out there

wares on the pool tables. Three or four pieces of

equipment were set up on the dance floor and a

magnanimous buffet was laid out. It got pretty

crowded and we headed outside to the back patio.

A cross was set up for play but people were using it.

What the hell, we don’t need no stinking equipment!

Peggy stepped up to the wooden fence.

The scene started off very typically for us, but it

perplexed Peggy’s friend. I flog her and we chat.

We talk about all sorts of stuff through the warm-up.

This rattled Peggy’s friend. It’s not really “how it’s

done.” Not that I care how it’s done. Peggy and I

have been playing 7 years and it works for us. It just

doesn’t seem sexy to an onlooker.

Once our scene gets going, Peggy will shut up and

I will lay into her with the floggers. I switched to my

single tail. Peggy and I used to do practice scenes

with my single tail. We hadn’t done a practice session

in over two years, maybe three. She would wear a

corset and drape a towel around her neck and I would

try new strokes on her back. Well, for the last year or

two, I have been practicing an overhand stroke but

never used it on anybody. That night I tried on Peggy.

It was pretty intense. She reacted to it like it was

intense but then gave me the thumbs up. This gave

me a lot of confidence and I lashed her again and again.

Finally, I told her to count out three more for me. 1. 2.


I grabbed her and got her off. It happened so fast –

she was so ready. Our favorite aftercare for that

scene is for me to spray her with alcohol and then set

it on fire several times.

The next morning, we met up with the munch folks

for breakfast (a $5 buffet) and then headed back to

Ft Lauderdale. We dropped in to visit Pup and we all

skinny-dipped in the pool. Lawrence stopped by and

swam, too. Then we headed over to Club Kink where

I presented on Fantasies & Role Play for SPICE.

Monday was my day with Pup. Pup is a plant freak.

His backyard looks like a botanical garden. We went to

a nursery to spend a gift certificate from his brother.

Then we went and bought potting soil at Home Depot.

Bear can’t understand why Pup buys expensive dirt and

has put a moratorium on buying any more plants, but I

think he secretly loves the garden.



A little while back, I started my 100 Divas Project to

spank 100 Divas. This was inspired by Lthr Edge’s 100

Bloggers Project. Divas on the list so far are: Midori,

Tristan and FifthAngel.

I was lucky to be in Ft Myers for WhypDancer’s birthday.

Peggy and I spanked her and she is now the newest Diva

to the list. She is owner of the Ft Myers Munch and quite

the Diva. See her website at



By Kari (IMsBB 2002)

[Editor’s note: Kari attended the International Ms

Leather and International Ms Bootblack weekend in

Omaha, Nebraska last weekend and wrote this


Friday night was the basket auction and drawing for

my headshaving fundraiser. The bootblack contestants

raised approximately $2,200 and the IMsL contestants

raised approximately $1800! The grand total for my

headshaving fundraiser was $1,100 (with $550 being

donated to the American diabetes Association in honor

of my oldest son, slaveboi eddie and my club brother

Lou). Thank you to everyone who contributed!!

I asked Leigha Fleming, of NCSF, a friend, and also

one of the judges for the weekend to draw (also,

she didn’t want me to shave my head, so she didn’t

have a ticket in there). She was dressed as an

adorable schoolgirl. That should have been the first

sign of danger. The second was when she drew the

name out, started saying “nonononononono!” and

ate the ticket. I chased her down and stuck my fingers

in her mouth (not smart on my part, since she bit me,

and I had to call her a bitch, but I got the paper back).

The winner was Sarah Humble. I couldn’t believe it.

Leigha was very upset that her Daddy won… for about

10 minutes.. then when the hair started coming off, she

was making suggestions, like “let’s leave those curls at

her ears.”

I’d said that if someone AT the contest won the drawing

and wanted to do the shaving that night, I’d wear

whatever was done to my head on stage for my stepdown

during the contest on Saturday. I had no idea Leigha

would be so evil. They left me with curls. Or as Richie,

IMrBB03, said, “tendrils” at my ears and forehead. Sarah,

Leigha, Amy Marie and I’m pretty sure a couple others

were given turns with the clippers. It ended up being a

group effort, right in the bar. I’ve been promised pictures.

Saturday night, in my pvc vinyl catsuit, shaved head,

glammed up eyes, and “tendrils,” I looked like a being

from another planet. All in all, it was another great IMsL

and I had a really good time.

I taught a class Saturday morning called “Taking it

Back” for survivors of abuse, taking the power back

and making it hot again. It was at 10am, so not too

many showed up, but those that did all made a point

to say something to me over the weekend, to thank me

for taking the time to have a class like that. It meant so

much! That’s what makes a class like that worthwhile 🙂

I was also Leigha’s demo bottom for her class “So you

want me to let you breathe?” Needless to say, I was

toast when I headed back over to the bootblack area

to see if things were going smoothly. Ian (Bootblack

Toronto 2002) and Richie (IMrBB03) were handling the

volunteer table wonderfully. I’d staffed it some Friday

and lined up volunteers to sell travel fund pins (thanks

to the volunteers!!!!!) It was great to have Ian and

Richie to take over when I had other responsibilities

on Saturday.

There were some really great contestants this year,

for both contests. Tammie Nelson, sponsored by Great

Lakes Leather Alliance won IMsL and slaveboi eddie

(my first runner up from last year) won IMsBB! At the

press conference Sunday morning (I was honestly

sneaking away for a nap and got pulled in, but I’m

glad I was there) I heard Tammie say that she felt

the titles were equal and if you asked her to an event,

she’d love to come, please send her and eddie a ticket.

I loved hearing that! The bonding between the

contestants this year was just amazing. Every

bootblack, Katie from Philly, eddie from LA, joe from

Toronto and ember from NLA Dallas, was not only a

good black, but a nice person. That counts big in my

book. I didn’t get to spend quite as much time with

the IMsL contestants, though they seemed just as


There was a mix up in bootblack envelopes and 1st

runner up got switched around. boi joe, Mr. Leatherman

Toronto Bootblack was announced as 1st runner up.

boi joe stood up at the victory brunch, with great

dignity, and explained the situation, and awarded the

medallion to Katie. It was a bittersweet moment. I was

happy for Katie and felt bad for joe, yet joe handled

herself with such decorum and eloquence, I had nothing

but admiration for her. It was explained that Pat Ballie

had simply mixed up contestant numbers. I was very

proud of how joe and Katie handled themselves and

the situation. At the end of the victory brunch, we took

pictures on the stairs with all the bootblacks there..

10 or more? It was great!

Thank you to Kari for sharing her experience with us.



For those of you who like to plan in advance, the

20th anniversary of the Mr MidAtlantic Leather contest

is January 16-20 in Washington, DC. They’ve moved

Leather Cocktails, the Sunday brunch and the contest

to a location that is close enough to walk to from all the

hotels. Registration is only $99 before September 1.




The Leather Leadership Conference 8 (LLC8) is

being held April 2-4, 2004 in New Orleans, Louisiana.

The organizers of the Leather Leadership Conference

8 are sponsoring two contests for important

components of the event. They are looking for an

eye-catching logo and they need a slogan that

communicates the event’s theme. You may submit

entries in both categories and you may submit more

than one entry in each category. The deadline for

submitting entries is August 15 and the winner will

be announced August 23. The prize for each contest

is a hand-made flogger crafted by Jerry Rasmussen

of Corpus Christi, Texas.




Q. If you wanted to give someone who is brand

spanking new, one or two web sites that give them a

good positive base for WIITWD or will answer the first

few questions and do it in a way that is realistic and

not idealist or “fairytale”-ish, what would you

recommend? Where would you point them? I’ve got

the books. I’m just looking for websites that will help

someone who doesn’t even have a clue what BDSM is

or means or encompasses.

A. If I could only give one, it would be the

soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ List:



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work plus a catered meal. The “Day with Midori”

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930-272B Saturday August 9th the Crucible hosts it’s

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Dedicated to providing my patients with the holistic

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to regain and maintain their optimal health. 285 West

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One of the Top Ten NYC Chiropractors: New Life

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and to register.

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Your ad could be here! Email me if you are interested.



Friday 7.25 NYC

DFS presents “Chains….The missing link of Bondage”

with Rick Umbaugh. Like rope, chain is a flexible strand

which can attach to body parts then attach body parts

to other body parts or to inanimate objects. Unlike

rope you can leave the attachment points accessible to

your prisoner since without access to the keys the

attachments are unbreakable. Unlike rope chains will

not bind when used properly or tighten. 7:45pm at

Paddles, 250 W 26th St, between 7 & 8 Aves. $8 ($4

for DSF & affiliate members). Info:

Saturday 7.26 NYC

TES Intermediate Skills Workshop: “Advanced Play.”

Advance-play concepts and how to integrate them into

a scene. Please bring yourselves and a partner. 2-5pm

at The LGBT Center, 208 W 13 St., between 7 &

Greenwich Aves. $15 in advance, $20 at the door ($5

discount for members of TES and other SM/leather orgs).

Info: 212-388-7022 or

Saturday 7.26 NYC

NYC Female slave Forum: “Unlearning Old Habits as

you Learn Obedience” Change is extraordinarily

difficult to bring about and even tougher to sustain.

Humans are notoriously resistant to change — even

change we really, really want. Further, if you think

that falling back into old patterns is “failure,” that can

actually hinder your growth and make you less likely to

continue the work needed to achieve change. Rather,

it’s important to understand that relapse is part of the

process of unlearning habits. Every time you try again,

you are more likely to succeed — and eventually you will.

2-4pm. Info: 917-470-4738 or

Saturday 7.26 NYC

TES Spanking Group: “A Night of Severe Spanking”

with Sconee Mike and August. This meeting will cover

spanking within a D/s context, non-traditional toys with

knives integrated in order to construct an intense

spanking scene. Stay after 10pm for a reduced

admission to Paddles. 7:30-10pm at Paddles, 250 W

26 St., between 7th & 8th Aves. $8 ($4for members of

TES and other SM/leather orgs). Info: 212-388-7022


Sunday 7.27 NYC

Masters And slaves Together/NYC (men only) Meeting:

“The Public Face Of Your Private Life.” Humans are social

animals, and we all live in a much larger world than just

the s/m-leather scene. Eventually we have to come out

of the “dungeon” and deal with that larger world. How

far do you go in making your Mastery/slavery evident to

people not directly involved in it? How do the visible signs

and signals of a Master/slave or other D/s partnership

vary in different environments? 3-6pm at The LGBT

Center, 208 W. 13th St, between 7 & Greenwich Aves.

$5 donation (or whatever you can afford).

This Monday and every Monday Cyberspace

Back by popular demand (maybe not so popular but

surely demanding…): The Eulenspiegel Not Til chat

room on AOL 10pm-Midnight. NOT a TES event but an

unofficial place online where many TES members and

friends hang out and talk. No set topic. It is a good

place to ask questions, debate the answers, ask and

receive advice, compare notes about the scene, gossip

about last week, plan the upcoming week, flirt a little,

be serious and not so serious. On AOL in the Town

Square area of the People Connection in a “member

room” – not private: aol://2719:61-2-Eulenspiegel not

til. Add this location to your Favorite Places Folder so

that it’s easy to come back.

Tuesday 7.29 NYC

TES Meeting: “Book Reading: Susan Wright’s: “Slave

Trade”. Susan Wright’s latest novel is Slave Trade,

(Simon & Schuster, April 2003), a mainstream, science-

fiction saga featuring extremes of consensual kink and

nonconsensual subjugation by gorgeous alien abductors.

Susan is a member TES, GMSMA, LSM and currently

serves as NCSF Spokesperson. She founded the

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom in 1997, and for

ten years has been a member of the NYC Leather Pride

Night committee. Susan is the author of over 20 books

including nonfiction books on art and popular culture, s

cience fiction novels, and SM Classics 7:30pm at 75 Bleecker St, just

east of Broadway. $8 ($4 for members of TES and other

SM/leather orgs). Info: 212-388-7022 or

Wednesday 7.30 NYC

TES Bondage Group: “Long-Term Bondage: Fiberglass

Casting” with Mlle. Mercy. The rope was lovely… the

cuffs were fun… but for long-term bondage… the

fiberglass won. Mlle. Mercy will demonstrate how to put

medically accurate casts on someone for private and

public fun. And if you’re very good, she’ll also

demonstrate how to take them off again. $8 ($4 for

members of TES and other SM/leather orgs). Info:

212-388-7022 or



Check out the Leather Pride Night photos in a slide

show format:

Have fun! Play safe!

Lolita Wolf

Lolita speaking only for Lolita, of course!

Tags: P+P Newsletter

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