Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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July 10th, 2003 · No Comments


July 9, 2003 Volume 9, Number 26

© Copyright 2003 by Lolita Wolf

Material may not be reproduced in whole or in part

without prior written consent of the copyright holder.

The views expressed herein are exclusively those of

the author and do not represent the views of any

other person or any organization with which the author

may be associated.



“When you turn and walk away, Don’t look back, I

wanna remember you, just like this, Let’s just kiss and

say goodbye.”

– Barry White



This month is the 7 year anniversary of when Officer

Hogg and I took Sir Phil to the Boston Fetish Flea for the

weekend. Sir Phil was heterosexual, dominant and 19

years old. After we got through with him, …well, let’s

just say he was now Boymeat, a bisexual switch and

still 19.

Now he’s my kid brother, submissive bottom, friend and

confidant. We share a lot and we think alike and we love

each other and trust each other like nobody else. We s

pent Saturday in Coney Island – the aquarium, the sideshow,

Nathan’s, the boardwalk. It was the perfect day and he’s

the perfect little brother. We can split a dozen clams,

share cigarettes and talk about anything and everything.

It’s an amazing relationship and I’m lucky to have it.



Sue Kaplan passed away Monday, June 7- probably of

a massive heart attack. I met Sue and we spent long

late night hours together while doing volunteer work on

transportation at IML. She was always friendly and had

a good attitude. She sure stuck out at IML: she was

4’10” and used a cane. Sue had also been active with

CDG and the old Leather Rose, council of clubs and SLUTS.

A graveside burial service will be held on Friday, July 11,

2003 at Noon at Westlawn Cemetary, 7801 W. Montrose.

A memorial service will be held on Monday evening July14

at 7PM at Congregation Or Chadash, 656 W. Barry.

Contributions in her memory may be made to the

following organizations:

– Congregation Or Chadash, 656 W. Barry,

Chicago 60657

– EZRA Multi-service Center, 909 W. Wilson,

Chicago, 60640

– McAdory Fund, PO Box 577618,

Chicago 60657

– New Town ALANO Club, 909 W. Belmont 2nd Flr.,

Chicago 60657



Tom Stice has announced the transfer of ownership of

The International Master/Slave contest to Mark Frazier

and International Master/Slave 2001 Jim and marsha.

Mark, Master Jim and slave marsha produced last year’s

contest in conjunction with South Plains Leatherfest,

which was an outstanding event.

The contests roots go back to Luke Owen, Race Bannon

and support from Dave Rhodes of The Leather Journal.

As producer/trustee of the contest, Tom accomplished

much, include retiring all debts, vastly increasing the

travel fund, and providing greater visibility and

understanding within the community, continued

opportunities for education, growth and leadership


The Jack and tom Stice memorial award will still be a part

of the contest and event. This award will feature a cash

scholarship to enable the recipient to continue

achievements for the advancement of the Master/slave


Information on South Plains Leatherfest and the

International Master/slave contest:



HBO and Real Sex are shooting a future episode which

documents an anal sex workshop taught by Tristan

Taormino and based on her book, The Ultimate Guide to

Anal Sex for Women. She is looking for willing

participants who are uninhibited, articulate, comfortable

with their sexuality, and not afraid to be all those things

on TV! This will be a hands-on, interactive workshop, with

lots of audience participation. So, participants should be

prepared to get completely or nearly naked, and get down!

If you are interested or know someone who is, contact her




niki is doing some informal research into various aspects

of BDSM. At this point, she is particularly curious about the

relative importance of humiliation in others’ BDSM

experiences. Toward that end, she has created

this survey:

1. Do you consider yourself primarily:

a. Dominant

b. Submissive

c. A more or less 50/50 switch?

2. Do you feel good about your own BDSM practice?

a. yes

b. no

c. ambivalent

3. In general (not necessarily in your own practice), do

you consider humiliation to be:

a. An important aspect of BDSM

b. Of minor importance in BDSM

c. Entirely dependent on the individuals involved

4. In general, do you consider humiliation as a part of

BDSM to be:

a. Healthy

b. Unhealthy

c. No opinion

5. Look at the BDSM play that you have personally

experienced and, on a scale of 0 to 10, rate the relative

importance of each of the following matters:

a. Power exchange

b. Physical pain

c. Restraint

d. Service play

e. Humiliation.

f. Exposure to others than your partner(s).

6. Are you satisfied with your experience? If you would

change it, would humiliation play a lesser or greater role?

Using the same scale as before, can you say how large the

shift would be?

If you find the multiple choices too limiting, feel free to

express your own thoughts at the bottom. Please e-mail

your finished survey to, with the

subject line, “Survey.”



Q. im looking for some info/advice on threesomes.

im 18 and have only had 2 brief sexual partners so feel

inexperienced yet confident enough to proform sexual acts.

i have recently been asked to join a married couple of a

slightly older age (21) from the same town,to join in with

them as they are looking for a 3rd interested in

the offer but dont really want to go in wivout any sort of

info before hand.obviously i need to make sure they’re ok,

but should i meet with them a couple of times before hand

and when i get there wot’s likely to happen etc???!! any

info u cud send me or advise me on wud be great.

A. You need to communicate with them about the

threesome. Have they done this before? What do they

want to do? What don’t they want to do? What do they

expect from you? You need to tell them what you are

interested in and also what you will not do.

Talking about expectations and limits beforehand can

mean the difference between a great time and a nightmare.

I remember that I did not talk at all before my first

threesome and was disappointed with how it turned out.

Now, I know how to say what I want and I participate in

some great threesomes. I especially love the energy of

couples and feel it is a real treat to be able to participate

in their sexual connection.



Thanks to my sponsors!


instructional video is now available. Learn basic &

advanced throws. Learn how to practice. Learn how to

use a signal whip on someone from light & sensual to

heavy & intense. Includes four actual scenes. Only

$35.00 + shipping & handling.


Counseling; 20 yrs. of caring for L/G/B/T, BDSM & Poly

communities. Offices in Highland Park, Freehold and Jersey

City, NJ. 24 therapists on staff. Dr. Margaret Nichols,

Director. Call (800) 379-9220/

932-262H Ms Mir, Certified Massage Therapist – Spiritual

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and private, a revitalize touch of Swedish, Foot Reflexology,

Hot Stone Massage, Deep Tissue – Neuromuscular &

Japanese Anma Massage. Gift certificates available & home

visits if necessary. Appointment only – weekend & evenings

available. Teaneck, NJ (5) minutes from the George Wash.

Bridge. 201 280-1976 or Brochure

available upon request w/ introductory offer.

926-269B Saturday July 26 – Libertine Ball V: A Midsummer

Mardi Gras Masquerade – Philadelphia’s sizzling summer

fantasy Ball. Join international performers, players, deejays,

dancers and dungeonmeisters for a fabulous frolic though

our HUGE new venue.18 to enter/ 21 to drink. $30 7/1-25

or $40 @door. A portion of the proceeds will provide seed

money for the Diabolique Ball Kickoff.

947-270H THE BARONESS, New York’s Premiere Designer

of Elegant Provocative Latex Fashions for men and women

of all sizes. Providing a range of latex fashions from; daring,

sophisticated, or formal, Fit for Royalty” Custom Couture, &

Bizarre Rubber Creations for the sophisticated fetishist .

Featured in The Fashion Institute’s Museum, countless

publications, as well as on HBO. On line catalogue at For appointments 212-529-5964.

Wholesale and Retail.

929-271A4 Fetish Diva Midori returns to the Crucible Aug

1st, and 2nd. Friday she’ll be doing a Humiliation workshop.

Cost is $25 – Saturday is “A Day and Dinner with Midori”

Midori’s “Rope Dojo” Six hours of rope

work plus a catered meal. The “Day with Midori” package is

$80, and is limited to the first 40.

930-272B Saturday August 9th the Crucible hosts it’s

sixth LEATHER FLEAMARKET & PLAY – Featuring: The Leather

Harvest, Night Dreams, “Mr. S”, Purple Passion / DV8, Le

Chateau Exotique, Clay Bird Jewelry, Leatherwerks, Leather

by Danny, Fetishes Boutique, Unique Wear, Diversified

Services, Rainbow Rope, Leather Bob, MC Lethal Leather,

Fantasy Masks, SLYX Custom Latex, Midnight Blue’s,

Delicious Corsets, The Shoe Guy, Rainbow Body Soaps –

Massages by: Whittney & Pablo. Fundraising benefiting the


1025-273Y Dr. Vittoria Repetto – Chiropractor / Applied

Kinesiologist / Nutritional Consultation. Dedicated to

providing my patients with the holistic therapies and the

personalized education they need to regain and maintain

their optimal health. 285 West B’way @ Canal St., NYC

212 – 431 – 3724 One of the Top Ten NYC

Chiropractors: New Life Magazine, Sept 2001.

935-274BB FolsomFringe 2003: Buccaneers on Odyssey

Island! San Jose, CA, Sept. 26-28. The buccaneers are on

a rampage to bring you hot leather happenings at

smOdyssey’s pansexual BDSM weekend of education and

fun! Huge dungeon party. Presenters include Fetish Diva

Midori, Catherine Gross, and Master Hines. Charities

include the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. Come

dig for buried pleasure! Visit

for details and to register.

Your ad could be here! Email me if you are interested.



Friday 7.11 NYC

DFS presents ” The Care and Maintenance of Master/slave

Relationships” with Sir Steven and slave Catherine The Care

and Maintenance of Master/slave Relationships” with Sir

Steven and slave Catherine. For many, the two things that

provoke the most fear and allure are fire and electric play.

This demo will show how to combine both at the same time

in a scene. The feeling of your body submitting to the feel

and control of electricity. The prickly feelings that make

your muscles involuntarily react, combined with warm,

enveloping feel of the liquid tongue of fire is incredible.

7:45pm at Paddles, 250 W 26th St, between 7 & 8 Aves.

$8 ($4 for DSF & affiliate members). Info:

Friday 7.11 NYC

New York Apple Munch 6:30pm at the Moonstruck Diner,

23 St. and 9 Ave. Info:

Friday thru Monday 7.11-13 Denver, CO

Thunder In The Mountains

Saturday 7.12 NYC

Lenny’s Party. 10pm-4am at 32 W 31st St, between

Broadway & 5th Ave. Ring Bell # 1. No drugs/no booze/no

j.o.. $35 Men, Women $5, Dressed TV’S $25. Info: or on the night of the party:


Sunday 7.13 NYC

Toys in Babeland presents: ”SM 101” with Felice Shays.

Have you ever wondered what happens when you combine

elements like pain, pleasure, eroticism, humor and power

dynamics? You get SM! Please join Felice for this introduction

to sensual & sexy power dynamics, New York’s SM groups/

clubs and more. This workshop is open to couples and

singles of every sexual orientation or gender. $30. 8pm at

Toys in Babeland, 94 Rivington St. Info: or 212-375-1701

This Monday and every Monday Cyberspace

Back by popular demand (maybe not so popular but surely

demanding…): The Eulenspiegel Not Til chat room on AOL

10pm-Midnight. NOT a TES event but an unofficial place

online where many TES members and friends hang out and

talk. No set topic. It is a good place to ask questions,

debate the answers, ask and receive advice, compare notes

about the scene, gossip about last week, plan the upcoming

week, flirt a little, be serious and not so serious. On AOL in

the Town Square area of the People Connection in a “member

room” – not private: aol://2719:61-2-Eulenspiegel not til.

Add this location to your Favorite Places Folder so that it’s

easy to come back.

Tuesday 7.15 NYC

TES Meeting: “Good Top, Bad Top” with Flagg and

Soulhuntre How to co-top where one top is kinder, softer

and gentler in contrast to his “meaner” associate. 7:30pm

at 75 Bleecker St, just east of Broadway. $8 ($4 for members

of TES and other SM/leather orgs). Info: 212-388-7022 or

Wednesday 7.16 NYC

TES-TiNG presents “Leather Jeopardy.” (Adults 18-35 and

their significant others). $8 ($4 for members of TES and

other SM/leather orgs). Info: 212-388-7022 or



Make gay marriage irrelevant:

The LA Sheriff’s Department has recalled over 1000 pairs

of Hiatt handcuffs:

This leatherman is also a talented composer:

NCSF celebrated American Independence Day by

launching its new website!

Have fun! Play safe!

Lolita Wolf

Lolita speaking only for Lolita, of course!

Tags: P+P Newsletter

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