Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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May 10th, 2003 · No Comments


Volume 9, Number 17 © Copyright 2003 by Lolita Wolf –

Material may not be reproduced in whole or in part without prior written

consent of the copyright holder. The views expressed herein are

exclusively those of the author and do not represent the views of any

other person or any organization with which the author may be





“All the people like us are We, and everyone else is They.”

– Rudyard Kipling




Wow! What a vacation. I came back fully rested but now once again I

am swamped with all sorts of deadlines.

I spent my vacation sailing the British Virgin Islands on a 46 foot sloop

with Peggy aka O, her parents and Midori. O’s parents are a hoot.

Earl makes loads of bad puns and then Al hits him. We see from where

O gets her SM inclinations. Al, a long time subscriber to the P+P, has

over the years asked O such questions as “What’s a buttplug?” and

“What do you do in a sling?” It is interesting to have my girlfriend’s

Mom reading about our exploits. (Hi Al!)

We got to do a lot of fun things. Midori and I did some scuba diving,

including a two tank dive to The Rhone. We also snorkeled with O,

climbed a trail to explore the Baths at Virgin Gorda, read a lot and swam.

We ate great food: everything from lobsters to conch fritters to this kick

ass risotto in Leverick Bay.

Midori was fortunate to spend her birthday with us. I found a service

with a boat delivery that brought us a birthday cake and we surprised her.

Because she had no submissive to substitute and take her spankings, O

and I delivered them to her. Midori with a red butt! She has pictures!




By AJ the Stalkerboy

Last June, Frank Nowicki, Max Steiner, Scott Reikofski, and Schelli

Dittmann became the new producers of American Brotherhood Weekend

taking over for Jim Cobb. I had been to ABW first in 1998 and last year JP

hooked me up with Jim and the ABW staff who very graciously took me in

and allowed me to work a few security shifts. Having as much fun as I did

last year I knew that I wanted to return and maybe do some volunteer time

this year.

With the new change of leadership, I am sure that a lot of people were

waiting around to see how the new ABW crew would workout. There are a

lot of people out there who hate change and were probably waiting for a

disaster. All that I can say is keep waiting if you must waste your time.

Change is good and this was an amazing weekend. I have never been so

proud and so honored to work with such an amazing group of people. In

just four short days I have managed to fall in love. These folks know what

they are doing and really know how to throw an event. Most important is

that they know how to treat staff and volunteers. The people who work with

the ABW team are treated with respect and dignity. While I know that

some people take offense about this being a gay event, this event needs

to be supported and embraced by all as a means to honor and support

the gay leather community.

I have noticed that in our community there are a ton of self proclaimed

Tops, Daddies, Mommies and Masters who spew on and on about the

importance of family. What is coming out of their mouths in no way shape

or form reflects what is actually in their hearts. When the ABW people

folks talk about family they mean it. This is truly a leather family event

and reunion. There is care and concern not just for the community at

large, but also for individuals.

The event started on Wednesday night at the Eagle with early

registration. This was a great chance to meet a lot of folks before the

weekend went into full swing. Thursday folks met up at Titan for a fun

night of drinks and the Feygele Feud pitting the IML’s against the ABW’s.

By Friday the event was in full swing with eye openers, cocktail parties,

receptions and off site play parties. On Saturday a very special

celebration of brotherhood was held for Jeff Baxter and Brian “Pup”

Mullikin. It was officiated by Judy Tallwing (thanks for listening to my

cat stories) and Al Santora (thanks for making me eat dinner). It was a

very nice ceremony bringing together many traditions. There were not

too many dry eyes in the house. Saturday night was a buffet dinner and

the basket auctions. The basket auctions were a lot of fun with Lenny

Broberg and Jo Arnone (thanks for teaching me how to eat beef jerky)

as the Auctioneers. The auction raised money that will be split among

the new ABW family for their travel funds (I am not sure of the amount

since I accidentally packed my notes). Funds were also raised for Judy

Tallwing’s Dandelion animal shelter in Washington State.

On Sunday the event continued with more eye openers and the

conclusion of the event. Bill Mitchell from San Diego is the new American

Leatherman, sheryl dee from San Diego is the New American

Leatherwoman and Boy Jeff from San Francisco is the new American

leatherboy. A California sweep!

At the end of the month I will be leaving DC and moving back to Chicago.

ABW was my last big outing as a DC resident and I would like to thank

the following ABW people for their friendship, encouragement and support.

Max, Schelli, Scott, Ryan and Jerry: Thank you for a wonderful event and

a wonderful weekend. Thank you for letting me in and giving me the space

to work. Thank you for taking a chance on me. Thank you for the hugs and

for sharing yourselves. Thank you for saying thank you, I look forward to

doing this again.

MJ, JP, Alex, Gloria, Ken, and Mike KZ: You guys rock! I have enjoyed

getting to know each one of you. Our talents are so varied, yet I feel as if

I were part of a World Series team getting to work with and hang out with

you. Let’s do it again.

And of course to my friend Lolita who every now and again let’s me write

articles for the P&P. Thank you for being patient with me, thank you for

giving me a place to put words to my feelings, and a big thank you for

making me up my standards.

**** Thank you to AJ Stalkerboy for writing this review. BTW AJ left out

this big news: at the event she was awarded the Jeff Baxter Award for her

service over ABW weekend. Congratulations! I am proud of you! ****




Paddles reopened again Friday night. The Oriental room with the red

furniture is not included as that is part of Pandora’s Box which remains

closed. The other change is that no on-site created foods (milkshakes,

waffles, etc.) is being served. They still sell sodas, brownies, etc. They

are working on the permit to serve food. I want my ice cream! But this

is great news – I am so happy that Paddles is back!




The Crucible is finally legal. It has taken two years for them to get all

their ducks in a row but now the club has been fully approved, inspected

and finally licensed! This is great news, because The Crucible is one of

the best clubs in the country. To celebrate, Black Rose will have its next

social there. Info:




I have been enjoying Sensuous Sadie’s SCENEsubmissions online

newsletter for a while. Now she her first book has been published: “It’s

Not About The Whip: Love, Sex, and Spirituality in the BDSM Scene.”

This is a collection of her columns that follows her experiences through

discovering her kinky orientation, dating, and becoming a leader in our

close-knit community. The book is available directly at:




Fetishes Boutique presents for five nights only: SadoJudaism. Ivor

Dembina, the world’s only British, Jewish, fetish standup comedian will

be performing his solo show at the Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St,

Philadelphia May 21-25. Shows are at 7pm ($10) and 9pm ($12). Box

office inquiries: 215 829 4986 (between noon and 10pm). You can see

a brief animated trailer beforehand at




The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom recently held a raffle for a Trip

for Two to the 25th Anniversary of the International Mr. Leather Contest.

NCSF raised over $2700 through this raffle! “NCSF wishes to thank Bill

Stadt and the International Mr. Leather organization for making this

fundraiser possible,” said Glenda Rider. “We’d also like to thank everyone

who participated by selling and buying tickets.”

Over 31 individuals and groups sold tickets, with Avatar Los Angeles

selling the most at $715. Ticket sales at the Leather Leadership

Conference 7 in Boston brought in $500 and the American Brotherhood

Weekend in Washington, DC brought in $880. Jack Rinella sold the

winning ticket to Lynn Schornick of Waukegan, IL.




International Mr. Leather 2003 (IML) celebrates its 25th Anniversary,

Thursday, May 22 through Monday, May 26, 2003 (Memorial Day

Weekend) in Chicago. About 400 gay leathermen gathered in Chicago in

1979 for the first IML contest. Today, the event has grown to be an

annual tradition for thousands in the leather community – drawing

contestants and attendees from around the globe.

The Palmer House Hilton, official host hotel, is currently full, however

check for room cancellations. A new block of rooms is available at the

nearby Chicago Hilton and Towers, 720 N. Michigan Ave. Reservations:

800-HILTONS or

Big change: IML’s annual Black and Blue Ball, formerly hosted by The

Chicago Eagle, will be held this year at Metro, 3730 N. Clark Street in

Chicago. As usual the weekend event includes the 25th Annual

International Mr. Leather Competition, the Annual International Mr.

Bootblack Competition, the huge Leather Market, plus numerous

celebrations including Salute (post-contest celebration) at the Palmer

House Hilton and the annual IML Victory Celebration Party at Chicago’s

House of Blues.

Frank Nowicki, hailed by some columnists as the best leather emcee,

will host the contest. For more details about the event and registration and

airline discounts: http://




LthrEdge has started a new project called 100 Bloggers. He is looking to

get more kinky people to create blogs (short for web long, an online journal).

LthrEdge describes this project as “either a wild and crazy experiment or

as an attempt to create a greater sense of online leather community,

debunk porn images of how leathermen live, and record the lived

experience of leatherfolk.”

Blogging is free and easy. Get more details at




Claes Lilja’s Beyond Vanilla made it’s NYC debut at the third annual TES

NYC SM Film Festival. But now it is finally getting into movie theaters.

Strand Releasing is distributing it. The opening is going to be in New York

City at the Quad Cinema on 13th Street on Friday, May 16th. For more

info about the film, see




Q. First let me say it was good to see you again at LLC. I saw in your

P&P last week that you went to a leather seder. I would love to hold one

next year. Do you know where I can get info on how to run one?

A. Laura Antoniou, best known as author of The Marketplace series,

and her partner, Karen, hosted the Leather Seder that I went to. They

also wrote/assembled the Haggadah. It is called Avadim Chayanu (Once

We Were Slaves) and you can download it for your own use at




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Friday 5.9 NYC

Applemunch 6:30pm at the Moonstruck Diner, 23 St. & 9 Ave.


Friday 5.9 NYC

DomSubFriends Meeting: “Welcome Back Paddles Social.” Celebrating

the reopening of Paddles. 8pm at Paddles, 250 W 26 St between 7 & 8th

Aves. $8 (4 for members of DSF & affiliate members).


Saturday 5.10 NYC

TES Intermediate Skills Workshop: “Spanking & Paddling” with Lolita.

Bring your toys and partners for this hands-on workshop as Lolita instructs

on technique, safety, and the other concepts involving this activity. 2-5pm

at The LGBT Center, 208 W 13 St, just west of 7th Ave.

$15 advance/$20 at the door ($5 discount for members of TES and other

leather/SM orgs). Info: 212-388-7022 or

Saturday 5.10 NYC

TES Dinner with Lolita and Michael & Laura from Paddles. 5:30-7pm at

Caffe Buon Gusto, 249 W. 26th St, between 7 & 8 Aves. No admission

charge, just pay for your own food & drinks. Info: 212-388-7022 or

Saturday 5.10 NYC

TES Spanking Group: “Spanking School Days” with Michael from

Paddles. The history of punishment spanking in schools … stories, role

play, spanking and caning … Bring your paddles, rulers and canes, for a

good old fashioned school paddling. Stay afterwards for discounted

admission to Paddles. $8 ($4 for members of TES and other SM/leather

orgs). Info: 212-388-7022 or

This Monday and every Monday Cyberspace

Back by popular demand (maybe not so popular but surely demanding…):

The Eulenspiegel Not Til chat room on AOL 10pm-Midnight. NOT a TES

event but an unofficial place online where many TES members and friends

hang out and talk. No set topic. It is a good place to ask questions,

debate the answers, ask and receive advice, compare notes about the

scene, gossip about last week, plan the upcoming week, flirt a little, be

serious and not so serious. On AOL in the Town Square area of the People

Connection in a “member room” – not private: aol://2719:61-2-Eulenspiegel

not til. Add this location to your Favorite Places Folder so that it’s easy

to come back.

Tuesday 5.13 NYC

TES Membership Meeting — Members Only. Come early for a quorum…

7:30pm at 75 Bleecker St, just east of Broadway. Free.

Info: 212-388-7022 or

Wednesday 5.14 NYC

TES Novice Group presents “Novice Exploratorium.” Novice Group

facilitators Bo (aka Master J) and Lady D will be bring their toys and invite

you to do the same. Participate, ask questions or just watch as they help

you learn more about your toys and how to use them safely and effectively.

7:30pm at 75 Bleecker St, just east of Broadway. $8 ($4 for members of

TES and other SM/leather orgs). Info: 212-388-7022 or

Thursday 5/15 NYC

TES Presents: “The Black & Blue Ball X Official After-Hour Party… The

TES Fest Pre-Party.” Between the end of the Black and Blue Ball X and

the beginning of TES Fest is this most amazing after-hour play party. If

you’ve never been to one of these, you don’t know what you are missing!

This party will start late Thursday night (early Friday morning) at 2am. It

goes until 11am. No entry/re-entry after 6am. No alcohol please, but lot’s

of food, fun, and play! Check out for more

details about all the great things going on this weekend!




The only surfing I did this week was in the West Indies.

Have fun! Play safe!

Lolita Wolf

Lolita speaking only for Lolita, of course!



Part Two of Two

Copyright 2003 Lolita Wolf

Tags: P+P Newsletter

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