Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

As a BDSM Sex Educator and Author, I don't just talk about it. I do it! And then I write about it.

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April 26th, 2003 · No Comments


Volume 9, Number 16 © Copyright 2003 by Lolita Wolf –

Material may not be reproduced in whole or in part without prior

written consent of the copyright holder. The views expressed

herein are exclusively those of the author and do not represent

the views of any other person or any organization with which the

author may be associated.




“I urge you all today, especially today during these times of

chaos and war, to love yourself without reservations and to love

each other without restraint. Unless you’re into leather. And

then, by all means, use restraints.”

– Margaret Cho




The P+P never made it out last week. I was just too swamped.

Part of the reason I was so swamped is that I finalized the

program for TES Fest. There will be 54 workshops! See the

schedule at

This P+P is a double issue because I am going to be out of the

country for a week so don’t expect another one until week after





The 7th annual Leather Leadership took place in Boston. The

event gets better and better every year. I especially enjoyed the

new way of doing the Caucuses. Instead of breaking us up by

region, we were broken up randomly. We sat in tables of 10 and

introduced ourselves to each other and then wrote three statements

about ourselves on paper: two truths and a lie. I wrote that I am a

famous writer, I am a vegetarian and that I have a dial up modem.

We then came to a consensus on what we believed were the three

greatest issues in the community today. We picked fear of

discrimination, religious extremists and educating newcomers

into our community.

I also really enjoyed the seminars and learned. My favorite

seminar was ”When The Stuff Hits The Fan: Managing Under Fire”

with Larry Manion and Kayte where they spoke about Beat Me in

St Louis’ tactics with the press and the hotel after being harassed

by the CWA. There was also an inclusion track with some great


The other great thing about LLC is the networking. I was able

to connect with old friends from around the country as well as

meet some new people. Patrick Califia and I acknowledged

some old “unfinished business.” Tom Stice and I talked and

hugged. I had a hot date with a local girl.

Next years LLC will be in New Orleans. Watch for information.




This week we had our first house guest: Mommy Cara from

LA. We did Cabaret on Broadway, Matthew Barney at the

Guggenheim and the Empire State Building. We went to a

fabulous Leather Seder, went to the gym and the grocery store.

And more, but we won’t kiss and tell. Not this week.




Paddles is/was the only public play space right now in NYC and

it would be devastating for us to lose it. There are a lot of rumors

of what is going on. Some sources say it was shut down by the

health department. Some say that there are certificate of occupancy

problems. Is it one connected space with the club upstairs?

We obviously don’t know just how long it will take to resolve this

situation. TES moved last week’s party to the Nutcracker and is

hosting another one there on Saturday night. We are all

watching this very closely.




The 13th Annual International Ms. & Mr. Deaf Leather and the

Deaf Bear/Cub contest will be held Wednesday June 4 through

Friday, June 6 in conjunction with The Rainbow Alliance of the

Deaf, Inc. Conference in Orlando, FL. Wednesday: Meet and

Greet & Farewell Roast Party at the Full Moon Saloon at 11 PM

to introduce the contestants and judges. Thursday: VIP Dinner at

5pm and the IDL/DBCO contest will begin at 8pm followed by a

Victory celebration at the Full Moon Saloon Bar.

The competitions will be held at the Orlando Marriott Downtown

Hotel Ballroom. The emcees are Jose Granda (International Mr.

Deaf Leather 1994) and John Lytle (Mr. Central Canada Drummer

1992). The judge panel includes William “Bam” Coleman

(International Mr. Deaf Leather 2002), Bob Graves (owner of the

Full Moon Saloon in Orlando, FL), Tom Tarantino (Mr. Deaf

Bear 2001), Lissette Molina (Miss Deaf Florida 2002) and Pete

Dalia (Mr. Leather Bear 2002). The tallymasters are Ernie

Hoffman and Rolf Hagton. Info:




Do you want to volunteer at TES Fest as a DM? Here are the


1. An interest in helping the community by supporting safe play

2. Willingness to spend at least one 4 hour shift at one of the

party play spaces.

3. Willingness to give up an afternoon to attend the DM training


Both experienced players and new people are needed. Top or

bottom, dominant or submissive, people in all roles work

successfully as DM’s. TES DMs work in pairs (so you need not

fear being all alone and not knowing what to do). Newer people

are paired with more experienced people.

If interested, send an email to:




The Wednesday night PORK event used to be at The LURE.

It has now moved to The Eagle. They say the action starts at

10pm (but nothing really starts before Midnight) at 554 W 28 St,

between 10 & 11 Ave. Admission is $6. Info:




Q. I have been given the task of finding wooden clothespins

that are American made. It is proving a difficult job. Do you know

of any way to find American made clothespins?

**** I asked Hardy Haberman to answer this. *****

A. The vanishing American Clothespin is harder and harder to

find, however there are a few places. Wal-Mart carries big 100 pin

bags of American Made clothespins in many of their stores. You

can find them under the Pliney brand or other brands. Additionally

the Diamond company still manufactures clothespins here in the

USA. American pins are usually made of harder wood and have

better springs than the Chinese imitations. Also they have fewer


**** Thanks to Hardy Haberman for answering this question. *****




Thanks to my sponsors!

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Brochure available upon request w/ introductory offer.

953-263Z Active NYC scene participant is in search of new

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Your ad could be here! Email me if you are interested.




Saturday 4.26 NYC

TES Workshop: “Intermediate BDSM Concepts” with M. Blair.

M. Blair will discuss her views on communication, negotiation &

contracts in a leather/BDSM contract. Communication is a key

component in all relationships – but absolutely necessary in BDSM.

Bring a pen & paper to take notes and start working on your OWN

contracts. 2-5pm at The LGBT Center, 208 W 13 St, just west of 7th

Ave. $15 advance/$20 at the door ($5 discount for members of TES

and other leather/SM orgs). Info: 212-388-7022 or

Saturday 4.26 NYC

TES-TiNG Social & Munch – Dinner and socializing for adults 18-35

& their significant others. 8-10pm at Caffe Buon Gusto, 249 W. 26th

St, between 7 & 8 Aves. Info: 212-388-7022 or

Saturday 4.26 NYC

TES and TES-TiNG cosponsor “The Last Minute Play Party open

to adults of all ages. 10pm-4am at Nutcracker Suite, 12 E 33rd

Street, 9th Floor. $35 ($20 for TES Members & TiNG Excursion

Attendees). Info: 212-388-7022 or

Sunday 4.27 NYC

NYC Sun/Slave Forum “Protocols in a D/s Relationship.”

Protocols are rules that prescribe a specific etiquette for particular

situations and a detailed plan of procedures for such situations.

In D/s relationships, they may variously be called: service protocols,

standards of behavior , policies and procedures, rules of the House,

or other names. The gist is that they usually spell out the

responsibilities of the Dominant and submissive to each other.

2-4pm at a member’s home. RSVP/info: 917-650-9113

Sunday 4.27 NYC

DSF Cabin Fever Party. 3-9pm at Nutcracker Suite, 12 E 33rd

St, 9th flr. $35 ($25 to members of DSF and affiliate groups).

Tel # on the day of the party: (917) 806-7040. RSVP: Info:

This Monday and every Monday Cyberspace

Back by popular demand (maybe not so popular but surely

demanding…): The Eulenspiegel Not Til chat room on AOL

10pm-Midnight. NOT a TES event but an unofficial place online

where many TES members and friends hang out and talk. No

set topic. It is a good place to ask questions, debate the answers,

ask and receive advice, compare notes about the scene, gossip

about last week, plan the upcoming week, flirt a little, be serious

and not so serious. On AOL in the Town Square area of the People

Connection in a “member room” – not private:

aol://2719:61-2-Eulenspiegel not til. Add this location to your

Favorite Places Folder so that it’s easy to come back.

Tuesday 4.29 NYC

TES presents “Erotic Collage” with Aprill. Art therapy has

become a new-agey craze that’s sweeping the country, but S/Mers

are secretly exploring their own way; through EROTICOLLAGE.

EROTICOLLAGE is a concept developed by Aprill, an Erotic Arts

Therapist who has singles and couples explore S/M by using

various art forms. Participants try out different fantasies and role/play,

from videotaping themselves as belly dancers, to pirates, to Medieval

characters, to recording audio cassettes of their written fantasies in

journals, to taking nude Polaroids of themselves for collages (pasted

on wooden paddles, of course!) and much more! Who knew therapists

could be so sexy?! 7:30pm at 75 Bleecker St, just east of Broadway.

$8 ($4 for members of TES and other SM/leather orgs).

Info: 212-388-7022 or

Wednesday 4.30 NYC

TES Switchables Group presents “The Singles Annual Spanking

Festival” with Lady Sabrina and friends. Experience different

spanking methods, a variety of paddling implements and a multitude

of hand techniques. 7:30pm at 75 Bleecker St, just east of Broadway.

$8 ($4 for members of TES and other SM/leather orgs).

Info: 212-388-7022 or

Thursday 5.1 NYC

SUBMIT Women and Trannie SM and Sex Party featuring

NOLOSE Fundraiser: Massage Parlor Back Room. 9pm-2am

(doors close at 1 am) at Studio 253, 253 E. Houston St, between

Aves A & B. $15. Info: or 718.789.4053





Kinky Body Detergent:

Medieval Fertility Ritual includes Easter beating of women:

I need a phone like this:

Another article on Slavercise:

Anti-gay is not the way:

“Does the US Government have the right to criminalize sexual

activity between consenting adults?” Answer the current poll


Congratulations to Graylin! His company, Grey Rose Productions,

produced the 2001 IML video which has been nominated for a 2003

Gayvn Award (the adult industry Oscars).

Have fun! Play safe!

Lolita Wolf

Lolita speaking only for Lolita, of course!

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Tags: P+P Newsletter

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