Sharrin Spector has 21 years of experience in piercing, scarification, branding body modifications. As owner of Pierce Ink, she has traveled all over the country and world as an artist and creating custom design body modifications. She is also an educator who is invited to events throughout the leather/kink BDSM community on many topics. If you have been thinking about getting a piercing, have a problem with an existing piercing or just want to learn more, Sharrin will be traveling to the east coast this summer to teach and set up appointments.

During Floating World in New Jersey from July 29-August 1, Sharrin will be teaching three classes – Kiss of Fire: Branding; Needle Bound – Merging Temporary and Permanent Piercing; and with her boy pat “I Love You Daddy”…When Service Comes in More Flavors!

If you are in the New York area and don’t make it to the weekend, Sharrin will be teaching Cutting and Suturing at Purple Passion on Monday, August 1 from 7:00pm-9:00pm. Sharrin will also be scheduling piercing appointments on Tuesday, August 2 from 12:00 -8:00pm at Purple Passion. These appointments fill up fast so please drop Sharrin an email to set up your appointment to discuss piercing and jewelry.

Q. Recently, I’ve had an issue come up at a private play party. So maybe it’s two questions.

A Top was playing with a bottom with a violet wand. The Top had electrified the bottom so that touching the bottom created an arc. The scene was interrupted when a bystander stepped forward and kissed the bottom on the forehead. The scene was stopped, the bottom complained of an immediate headache and her face was twitching. To date there do not seem to be any lasting obvious effects. Can you tell me if this could have been a potentially life threating situation?

In addition, the bystander could not be ejected from the location, because she was tanked and 70 miles from home. This was a non drinking event, but it seems she was sneaking alcohol into the house in water bottles. As hostess, I feel this was My fault because it was My birthday and I wasn’t on guard. I realized late in the evening that she was drinking but by that point it was too late. Our community is very small and I will see her again soon. I’m pissed off but trying hard to maintain some level of decorum. What action is appropriate in this situation?

At this point I’ve read her the riot act about drinking at My party and interrupting the scene. She didn’t seem to think that part was a big deal. But stated she didn’t want Me to be mad at her. I’m beyond mad and wanna thrash her. But I’m trying to be rational about the whole thing.

A. First of all I am not a violet wand expert. I think violet wands are safe to use on the head but never on the eyes. I have used the violet wand on the head and it has been used on my head with no problems. However, everybody is different. The skin is pretty thin on the forehead. Maybe the bottom had a reaction from the kiss, but I highly doubt that it was life threatening.

The main issue is the behavior of your party guest. I assume that the rules of the party were clear to all the guests. She violated the rules. That makes her a bad guest. And what compounds her bad behavior is that she thinks it was not a big deal. She shows no remorse and that means that she may possibly break the rules again.

It is not your fault that you were not watching your guests so closely. The beauty of a private party is that you can control the guest list. You should only invite people to your home whom you can trust to respect your home and your rules. Even the host ought to be able to relax and enjoy their own party.

You did the right thing by not allowing her to drive home drunk. She could have been an even bigger danger on the road.

I’m glad that you want to be rational about this. I would speak to her when she is sober and tell her that she is off the guest list for now. Don’t make it permanent. She may mend her ways and should be given a second chance at some point. Also, if she can hope for an opportunity to be invited again in the future, she is less likely to be vindictive.

However, sometimes people can be vindictive. She may make a call to the police during your next party. Prepare yourself with an NCSF bust card.

Me and Lenny at Barbara Nitke’s Smooth Operator show, 2010

I just heard that Lenny Waller passed away. I met Lenny in the late 80′s when he was manager of The Vault in NYC.  Later he managed Hellfire. He had  served on the board of TES for a while, but that was before my time. He was a big supporter of Leather Pride Night, giving us donations and always attending and buying at the auction. His pet project was the AIDS Candlelight Vigil which he organized every year during Gay Pride weekend.

A.  My close friends and I usually hug and/or kiss hello and good-bye and that’s good. Beyond that, we usually ask if its okay to touch. Although sometimes we get flirty and more physical. This works because we can read each other.

Other than from my friends, most unsolicited physical contact feels invasive. Sometimes I don’t even really want to shake hands with people.

March is Question Month. You can ask your question here.

This is Lamalani’s boot.
She is International Ms Leather 2009.
This was taken at South Plains Leatherfest 2010.

I am on 44 Twitter lists that are named like this:

• bdsm   (2)
• sex-writers-and-educators
• hitachi-magic-wand-owners
• our-talent
• perverts
• amazons
• authors
• nyckinksters
• tribe
• wholedc-presenters
• do-peeps
• kinksters-fetishists-bdsm
• sexwriters
• r-rated-interesting-peeps
• lesbians
• adult-blog
• sex-info-groups-and-blogs
• darkodysseytwibe
• kinksters
• knowirl
• my-follow-Friday-recos
• nyc  (2)
• cinekink
• sex-toys-and-bloggery
• kinkyculture
• sex-educators
• colleagues
• awesome-people
• sb
• redheads
• kink
• educators
• sex-bloggers  (4)
• roperoperope
• darkodyssey
• all-lesbians-on-twitter
• other-kinksters

It’s interesting to see how people see me.  I have yet to make any lists on Twitter, but maybe I’ll have time before the end of the year.

1. It was a very good idea to attend.  A lot of it was over my head, but I learned a ton of stuff anyway.

2. When shooting video, adjust your white balance manually.

3. When looking for plug-ins, look at release date, not just usage and ranking.  Some plug-ins aren’t up-to-date with the later WordPress updates.

4. Both WordPress.com stats and Google Analytics are good, but they give different info.  Look at both.

5. Put your media mentions on your About page.

6.  Adobe Browser Lab lets you see how your site looks in different browsers.

7.  See who is linking back to you with Link Diagnosis.

8. A new theme can make your website look fresh.  Find a free one at WordPress Free Theme Directory.

9. Check out Google’s Search Engine Optimization 101 Guide.

10. I am very fortunate to have a brilliant BlogMommy who helps me with my blog.  Thanks, Viviane!