Lolita Wolf's Predictions & Predilections

“I want to be an object at some point during the weekend.” Don Quixote told me.

An object? I thought about that. The first thing that popped into my head was a footstool. That’s classic. But it is also boring. I thought about what kind of object I really wanted and an idea came to me: a robot!

I love when DQ tells me what he wants, but does not tell me specifics. It allows me to be creative. I do love to think things out and plan. My robot could not be too complicated because he would not be able to take too many different commands. I planted two remote control bullets on him. One was vet-wrapped on to his balls. This was the stop and go command. The other was vet-wrapped to his chest. This was the command to turn right. Having just these commands kept things very simple. So, he was a New Jersey robot. In order to go left, he would have to make three right turns, like a jughandle.

My robot was very pink. He wore hot pink frilly pettipants. The vet wrap holding the vibrating bullets in place was also hot pink. I used more hot pink vet wrap to wrap his head so that he could not see. I layered rope on his chest pinning his arms above the elbow. I could manually move his lower arms so that he could hold things. I had him carry my water bottle for me. I also added rope over his frilly pettipants and a bar wrap between his ankles so that he could not take big steps. As a finishing touch, I decorated my robot with brightly colored glow sticks bands. Because every robot needs to have lights!

When my robot was put together, I took him for a spin in the massive dungeon. I tried out the commands and he was very responsive. My remote controls worked up to 25 feet away so at first it was not apparent to onlookers that he was being controlled. There were quite a few confused people. “How does that work?” I showed them the controls that made him stop, go and turn. They were very amused.

My robot was not perfect. First of all, he did not walk perfectly straight. He seemed to always go off a little to the right. Also, his right turns were not perfect 45 degree angles. It took quite a bit of navigation skills to maneuver him through the dungeon. I could not allow him to walk through people’s scenes! Most of the time I had him on a zigzag course, like a sailboat tacking against the wind.

This was my most favorite scene at The Floating World.